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7989 +/- 100 word Fantasy Critique

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Gideon Smith
(@gideonpsmith)
Posts: 793
Platinum Member
Topic starter
 

7989 was the original length and I have edited it since so it may be plus or minus 100 words or so of that. I'm on lunch break at work so can't check but wanted to post.  Happy to exchange of course


"...your motivations for wanting to write are probably complex. You may have a few great passions, you may want to be rich and famous, and you may need therapy."
- Dave Farland, Million Dollar Outlines
"...I also miss almost 100% of the shots I do take."
- Gideon Smith
Writers of the Future:
2026 Q1: P Q2: TBD Q3: TBD Q4: TBD
2025 Q1: HM Q2: SHM Q3: HM Q4: HM (resub of 2024 HM)
2024 Q1: F Q2: HM Q3:SHM Q4: SHM
2023 Q1: RWC Q2: SHM Q3: SHM Q4: R
2022 Q4: R
Submissions to other markets:
2026: 7 submitted 1 acceptances
2025: 163 submitted 10 acceptances
2024: 53 submitted 8 acceptances
2023: 74 submitted 13 acceptances
2022: 22 submitted 1 acceptance

2026 goals: a. 2025 Novel submitted to agents/publishers b. Draft 0 of a new novel c. Speak at a con on panels d. Write 3 serious shorts NOT for WOTF e. Submit something, somewhere, every month

http://www.gideonpsmith.com

 
Posted : July 5, 2023 8:34 am
Gideon Smith
(@gideonpsmith)
Posts: 793
Platinum Member
Topic starter
 

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Fsh.

 

Why am I telling Dad jokes in response to my own cry for help? To try and make someone look at this thread in the hope they'll say 'yes' of course!

 

Warning: more dad jokes to come ? 


"...your motivations for wanting to write are probably complex. You may have a few great passions, you may want to be rich and famous, and you may need therapy."
- Dave Farland, Million Dollar Outlines
"...I also miss almost 100% of the shots I do take."
- Gideon Smith
Writers of the Future:
2026 Q1: P Q2: TBD Q3: TBD Q4: TBD
2025 Q1: HM Q2: SHM Q3: HM Q4: HM (resub of 2024 HM)
2024 Q1: F Q2: HM Q3:SHM Q4: SHM
2023 Q1: RWC Q2: SHM Q3: SHM Q4: R
2022 Q4: R
Submissions to other markets:
2026: 7 submitted 1 acceptances
2025: 163 submitted 10 acceptances
2024: 53 submitted 8 acceptances
2023: 74 submitted 13 acceptances
2022: 22 submitted 1 acceptance

2026 goals: a. 2025 Novel submitted to agents/publishers b. Draft 0 of a new novel c. Speak at a con on panels d. Write 3 serious shorts NOT for WOTF e. Submit something, somewhere, every month

http://www.gideonpsmith.com

 
Posted : July 14, 2023 5:33 am
Wahlquistj
(@wahlquistj)
Posts: 82
Bronze Star Member
 

I’m here for ya! Smile send it on over. I don’t have a swap yet, but I’ll take you up on your offer eventually (unless this is one I already read)


V33- SF
V38- SHM, HM
V39- HM,R
V40- HM
V41- Q2-SHM, Q3-SHM, Q4-SHM

 
Posted : July 14, 2023 7:37 am
Gideon Smith reacted
Ramya (Writhmic)
(@writhmic)
Posts: 114
Silver Member
 

@gideonpsmith I'm happy to swap! I don't have a piece ready yet, either, but I'll be sure to send it when it's done. PM me with your story whenever you'd like


V39: -- / SHM / SHM / RWC
V40: HM / SHM / SHM / SHM
V41: RWC / HM / SHM / --
V42: -- / SHM / P / WIP

A labor of love: www.starspunlit.org

 
Posted : July 14, 2023 9:58 am
Gideon Smith
(@gideonpsmith)
Posts: 793
Platinum Member
Topic starter
 

@wahlquistj Thanks Wahlquistj! You haven't read this one before, and it really needs some feedback, so appreciate the help! ?


"...your motivations for wanting to write are probably complex. You may have a few great passions, you may want to be rich and famous, and you may need therapy."
- Dave Farland, Million Dollar Outlines
"...I also miss almost 100% of the shots I do take."
- Gideon Smith
Writers of the Future:
2026 Q1: P Q2: TBD Q3: TBD Q4: TBD
2025 Q1: HM Q2: SHM Q3: HM Q4: HM (resub of 2024 HM)
2024 Q1: F Q2: HM Q3:SHM Q4: SHM
2023 Q1: RWC Q2: SHM Q3: SHM Q4: R
2022 Q4: R
Submissions to other markets:
2026: 7 submitted 1 acceptances
2025: 163 submitted 10 acceptances
2024: 53 submitted 8 acceptances
2023: 74 submitted 13 acceptances
2022: 22 submitted 1 acceptance

2026 goals: a. 2025 Novel submitted to agents/publishers b. Draft 0 of a new novel c. Speak at a con on panels d. Write 3 serious shorts NOT for WOTF e. Submit something, somewhere, every month

http://www.gideonpsmith.com

 
Posted : July 14, 2023 5:53 pm
Gideon Smith
(@gideonpsmith)
Posts: 793
Platinum Member
Topic starter
 

@writhmic Thanks writhmic! I excited to get a new set of eyes on this - I think I've become blind to its errors at this point so I really need input. many thanks for helping ?


"...your motivations for wanting to write are probably complex. You may have a few great passions, you may want to be rich and famous, and you may need therapy."
- Dave Farland, Million Dollar Outlines
"...I also miss almost 100% of the shots I do take."
- Gideon Smith
Writers of the Future:
2026 Q1: P Q2: TBD Q3: TBD Q4: TBD
2025 Q1: HM Q2: SHM Q3: HM Q4: HM (resub of 2024 HM)
2024 Q1: F Q2: HM Q3:SHM Q4: SHM
2023 Q1: RWC Q2: SHM Q3: SHM Q4: R
2022 Q4: R
Submissions to other markets:
2026: 7 submitted 1 acceptances
2025: 163 submitted 10 acceptances
2024: 53 submitted 8 acceptances
2023: 74 submitted 13 acceptances
2022: 22 submitted 1 acceptance

2026 goals: a. 2025 Novel submitted to agents/publishers b. Draft 0 of a new novel c. Speak at a con on panels d. Write 3 serious shorts NOT for WOTF e. Submit something, somewhere, every month

http://www.gideonpsmith.com

 
Posted : July 14, 2023 5:55 pm
Gideon Smith
(@gideonpsmith)
Posts: 793
Platinum Member
Topic starter
 

pps @wahlquistj and @writhmic - just let me know when you have pieces for me to critique in return! Happy to give rain checks ?


"...your motivations for wanting to write are probably complex. You may have a few great passions, you may want to be rich and famous, and you may need therapy."
- Dave Farland, Million Dollar Outlines
"...I also miss almost 100% of the shots I do take."
- Gideon Smith
Writers of the Future:
2026 Q1: P Q2: TBD Q3: TBD Q4: TBD
2025 Q1: HM Q2: SHM Q3: HM Q4: HM (resub of 2024 HM)
2024 Q1: F Q2: HM Q3:SHM Q4: SHM
2023 Q1: RWC Q2: SHM Q3: SHM Q4: R
2022 Q4: R
Submissions to other markets:
2026: 7 submitted 1 acceptances
2025: 163 submitted 10 acceptances
2024: 53 submitted 8 acceptances
2023: 74 submitted 13 acceptances
2022: 22 submitted 1 acceptance

2026 goals: a. 2025 Novel submitted to agents/publishers b. Draft 0 of a new novel c. Speak at a con on panels d. Write 3 serious shorts NOT for WOTF e. Submit something, somewhere, every month

http://www.gideonpsmith.com

 
Posted : July 14, 2023 6:06 pm
Wahlquistj reacted
Michelle J. Diaz
(@michellejdiaz)
Posts: 85
Bronze Star Member
 

If you still need a fresh set of eyes to go over your work, I can take a look. I have a piece of work that needs someone new to look at. I would be happy to do a swap.


V43: Pending,WIP ,___ ,___
V42: SHM, HM, SHM, HM
V41: HM, Finalist, HM, SHM
V40: HM, HM, RWC, HM
V39: R, R, R, HM
V38: R,

Website: https://michellejdiaz.com

 
Posted : July 19, 2023 1:51 pm
Gideon Smith
(@gideonpsmith)
Posts: 793
Platinum Member
Topic starter
 

@md Hey Diaz! I think I'm good with this piece for now as there have been comments that I need to work on and I am still waiting on one critique. However, I have a *different* piece I would gladly critique swap on. Its shorter at more like 4500 or so, but its scifi...ish. DM if sounds like a plan ?


"...your motivations for wanting to write are probably complex. You may have a few great passions, you may want to be rich and famous, and you may need therapy."
- Dave Farland, Million Dollar Outlines
"...I also miss almost 100% of the shots I do take."
- Gideon Smith
Writers of the Future:
2026 Q1: P Q2: TBD Q3: TBD Q4: TBD
2025 Q1: HM Q2: SHM Q3: HM Q4: HM (resub of 2024 HM)
2024 Q1: F Q2: HM Q3:SHM Q4: SHM
2023 Q1: RWC Q2: SHM Q3: SHM Q4: R
2022 Q4: R
Submissions to other markets:
2026: 7 submitted 1 acceptances
2025: 163 submitted 10 acceptances
2024: 53 submitted 8 acceptances
2023: 74 submitted 13 acceptances
2022: 22 submitted 1 acceptance

2026 goals: a. 2025 Novel submitted to agents/publishers b. Draft 0 of a new novel c. Speak at a con on panels d. Write 3 serious shorts NOT for WOTF e. Submit something, somewhere, every month

http://www.gideonpsmith.com

 
Posted : July 19, 2023 3:56 pm
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