First Four-Fifty Critique Exchanges

s_c_baker · 2011-09-21T16:59:50Z

Tight on time, but want to give and get feedback? Let's swap the first 450 words of our entries each quarter! Why will this be helpful? The first 450 words will be about the first two pages of your entry (if you're using Standard Manuscript Format, which you should be). This isn't much of a story, but unless you can successfully catch an editor's (or judge's, or for that matter reader's) attention in those first pages, it's all they're ever going to read. It follows then, that you want those first four-fifty to be one of the most well-crafted, interesting pieces of the entire story. What good is a bang-whizz-pow scene on page 36 if the reader stops on page 3 because they haven't seen a plot, character goal, or that you can write well enough to be interesting? How this works 1) Respond to the thread indicating your willingness to take part and (optionally) the quarter(s) you're willing to participate. 2) Save the first four-hundred-and-fifty words of your story into a new document. Once there are a few respondents, anyone interested can just send a PM to the four-fiftiers they'd like to swap story with. Er... With whom they'd like to swap story. (If there are more than a few, I'll clump the usernames up into this initial post for ease of reference.) Due to contest rules, remember not to post any details about a particular story, or you'll get yourself disqualified. Four-Fifty Guidelines Obviously, when you're only looking at the first two pages of a story, critiquing is going to be a little ... different. You won't be able to comment on many broad issues (e.g. character development, plot, pacing). Your critiques will necessarily be as truncated as your reading material. Here are a few things to consider. Keep in mind that these are guidelines, not rules. Do whatever works. 1) Does it keep your interest? - This is the most important thing. If ten out of fifteen readers get bored two pages in, the story's in trouble. 2) Is the plot easy to spot? - If the first two pages of a short story don't at least hint at a plot, readers may quit before they get there. 3) Is the protagonist likeable, or at least interesting? - Likewise. 4) Is there conflict? - Conflict drives a story. If there isn't any up front, this may account for lack of plot and interest. 5) Is there a clearly recognizable speculative elements? - For this contest, having an up-front-and-centre speculative element is essential. 6) I can haz grammer? - Technical aspects of the writing craft are last on this list, but certainly not least in importance. So, let's-------------------[post truncated, 450 word limit reached] Edit - Dustin has suggested I add some of the things DF says he looks for in the first few pages: With that in mind, you might also want to look in your critiques for mentions of: Setting The five senses The protagonist's name and some of the things Tina mentions in this post on "dealbreakers".

s_c_baker

(@s_c_baker)

Posts: 979

Gold Star Member

Topic starter

I also have a Q4 first 450 ready to go, whenever anybody wants to swap. wotf008

Stewart C Baker - 1st place, Q2 V32
My contest history: Semi-finalist, R, HM, R, R, HM, HM, R, R, R, R, HM, R, R, R, R, Winner
My published fiction, poetry, &c.

Posted : July 6, 2012 6:28 am

David K

(@david-k)

Posts: 149

Bronze Star Member

Seems that I now have a Q4 story complete and ready to submit.

If anyone has the time to review this 450, I would be thrilled and gladly look at theirs in return.

Very sporadic submitter but 9 HMs: latest Q1 2021
Author of Gateway Through Time: Available at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1112672

Posted : July 7, 2012 7:39 pm

katsincommand

(@katsincommand)

Posts: 230

Bronze Star Member

Seems that I now have a Q4 story complete and ready to submit.

If anyone has the time to review this 450, I would be thrilled and gladly look at theirs in return.

.

also have a Q4 first 450 ready to go, whenever anybody wants to swap.

I haven't done a 450 crit yet, but I've done lots of crits. I'd be happy to look at yours. I'll PM you my email ady My story will be ready in a few days if you're up for a swap.

Dawn Bonanno
http://www.dmbonanno.com

SF 2 / HM 6 / R 16 / Total 24 Entries

Posted : July 11, 2012 5:42 am

hlf

(@hlf)

Posts: 45

Advanced Member

Consider me available for 450s.

HL Fullerton

Posted : July 11, 2012 6:15 am

gower21

(@gower21)

Posts: 757

Gold Member

I'm available for 450s as well. No exchange from my end. HIT ME! I feel generous all of a sudden Smile

Tina
http://www.smashedpicketfences.com

Posted : July 11, 2012 6:19 am

s_c_baker

(@s_c_baker)

Posts: 979

Gold Star Member

Topic starter

I'm available for 450s as well. No exchange from my end. HIT ME! I feel generous all of a sudden
ITT: Tina fills up her inbox.

Stewart C Baker - 1st place, Q2 V32
My contest history: Semi-finalist, R, HM, R, R, HM, HM, R, R, R, R, HM, R, R, R, R, Winner
My published fiction, poetry, &c.

Posted : July 11, 2012 6:25 am

Dustin Adams

(@tj_knight)

Posts: 1472

Platinum Plus Moderator

Well, I'm gonna send mine because I knew her before she was famous. wotf001

Career: 1x Win -- 2x NW-F -- 2x S-F -- 9x S-HM -- 11x HM -- 7x R
Like me: facebook/AuthorTJKnight

Posted : July 11, 2012 6:31 am

gower21

(@gower21)

Posts: 757

Gold Member

I'm available for 450s as well. No exchange from my end. HIT ME! I feel generous all of a sudden
ITT: Tina fills up her inbox.

I only got one or two requests before, so how bad can it be? Maybe I'll have to go pay some of the other board members to come over here and post so they can bury my offer.

Ehem! I will redact (did I use that word right?) the offer to critique when I get too full of requests. I will also offer it again when I free up my schedule.

And Yes Dustin send away!

Tina
http://www.smashedpicketfences.com

Posted : July 11, 2012 6:33 am

Strycher

(@strycher)

Posts: 667

Silver Star Member

Well, I'm gonna send mine because I knew her before she was famous.

Are we hipsters, now?

wotf005 Wish I had something to swap . . . Hey! Maybe I shouldn't be on the internet right now? wotf013

"The Filigreed Cage" || "Bitter Remedy" || "Heartless" || "The Newsboy's Last Stand" || "Planar Ghosts"

Posted : July 11, 2012 6:35 am

Dustin Adams

(@tj_knight)

Posts: 1472

Platinum Plus Moderator

Maybe I shouldn't be on the internet right now?

WRITE WRITE WRITE

Tina,
Already sent. I'm like lightning. wotf036

Career: 1x Win -- 2x NW-F -- 2x S-F -- 9x S-HM -- 11x HM -- 7x R
Like me: facebook/AuthorTJKnight

Posted : July 11, 2012 6:58 am

David K

(@david-k)

Posts: 149

Bronze Star Member

Dawn AND Tina? Jumps in quick. Thank you.

Very sporadic submitter but 9 HMs: latest Q1 2021
Author of Gateway Through Time: Available at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1112672

Posted : July 11, 2012 10:32 am

josephk

(@josephk)

Posts: 10

Active Member

I am also interested in 450 crit swaps. Anyone interested just paste your 450 into a pm and send to me . . . i'll pm you back with mine.

I look forward to it!

Q4/31: Submitted 9/30 e-sub. HM 12/9/14 by email.
Q3/30: Submitted 6/30 e-sub. rejected...meh, sometime.
Q4/29: Submitted 9/28 e-sub. Rejected 12/11/12 email.
Q3/29: Submitted 6/30 e-sub. withdrawn 7/10.
Q2/29: Submitted 1/16 e-sub. Rejected 7/9 email.

Posted : July 12, 2012 7:25 am

gower21

(@gower21)

Posts: 757

Gold Member

Ok everyone! I just send back all the 450's I got requests for. I'm off this weekend on a business trip with my husband and family and when I come back I'll be neck deep in writing a novel, then in and out for the rest of the month. I'm closing off my offer right now for swapping, but I DO plan on coming back and taking more at a later date for Q4. I hope to see as many of you at the workshop as possible.

Thanks all!

Tina
http://www.smashedpicketfences.com

Posted : July 12, 2012 10:47 am

dantzel

(@dantzel)

Posts: 299

Silver Member

Okay, I think I'm far enough into my Q4 story to have the first 450 words of it critiqued. wotf013 Who's up for a swap?

Vol 29 Q3 Semi Finalist

http://www.dantzelcherry.com

Posted : July 15, 2012 7:01 pm

Grayson Morris

(@grayson-morris)

Posts: 281

Silver Member

I'm up for a 450 exchange -- already sent a PM to the last several folks to indicate swap willingness in this thread, happy to be PMed by anyone I missed who'd like to swap.

Much madness is divinest sense, to a discerning eye; much sense, the starkest madness. (Emily Dickinson)
http://www.graysonbraymorris.com
past entries: 5x HM, 3xR
current entries: none

Posted : July 18, 2012 3:14 am

Dustin Adams

(@tj_knight)

Posts: 1472

Platinum Plus Moderator

Giggity.

Career: 1x Win -- 2x NW-F -- 2x S-F -- 9x S-HM -- 11x HM -- 7x R
Like me: facebook/AuthorTJKnight

Posted : July 18, 2012 5:39 am

David K

(@david-k)

Posts: 149

Bronze Star Member

I'm up for a 450 exchange -- already sent a PM to the last several folks to indicate swap willingness in this thread, happy to be PMed by anyone I missed who'd like to swap.

If my PM didn't work - I got it wotf008

Very sporadic submitter but 9 HMs: latest Q1 2021
Author of Gateway Through Time: Available at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1112672

Posted : July 18, 2012 9:34 am

Kevin Ikenberry

(@kevin-ikenberry)

Posts: 20

Active Member

Seems that I now have a Q4 story complete and ready to submit.

If anyone has the time to review this 450, I would be thrilled and gladly look at theirs in return.

You've got my email address - send it to me, I'll be happy to look over it for you.

Q4 2011 - Honorable Mention - "Ascent"

Short fiction sales to Mindflights (x2), Twisted Dreams Magazine, Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine

http://www.kevinikenberry.com

Posted : July 19, 2012 10:57 am

David K

(@david-k)

Posts: 149

Bronze Star Member

Seems that I now have a Q4 story complete and ready to submit.

If anyone has the time to review this 450, I would be thrilled and gladly look at theirs in return.

You've got my email address - send it to me, I'll be happy to look over it for you.

Thanks Kevin - will do Smile

Very sporadic submitter but 9 HMs: latest Q1 2021
Author of Gateway Through Time: Available at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1112672

Posted : July 19, 2012 8:48 pm

Kevin Ikenberry

(@kevin-ikenberry)

Posts: 20

Active Member

Seems that I now have a Q4 story complete and ready to submit.

If anyone has the time to review this 450, I would be thrilled and gladly look at theirs in return.

You've got my email address - send it to me, I'll be happy to look over it for you.

Thanks Kevin - will do

Back in your inbox now, David. Well done!

Kevin

Q4 2011 - Honorable Mention - "Ascent"

Short fiction sales to Mindflights (x2), Twisted Dreams Magazine, Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine

http://www.kevinikenberry.com

Posted : July 21, 2012 8:09 am

Jackie B.

(@jackie-b)

Posts: 52

Bronze Member

Anybody up for a swap? PM me Smile

Finalist: Q3 V29
Semi-Finalist: Q1 V30
HM x 3

Posted : July 25, 2012 3:20 am

johncdla

(@johncdla)

Posts: 1

New Member

Anybody up for a swap? PM me

Jackie,

I am looking for someone to exchange critiques with. How do you normally go about doing that? I want to submit my science fiction story this quarter. It would be nice to continue the revision process with someone providing useful input.

John

Posted : July 25, 2012 11:57 am

Jackie B.

(@jackie-b)

Posts: 52

Bronze Member

I sent you a private message, John. I'm happy to give your story a read wotf008

Finalist: Q3 V29
Semi-Finalist: Q1 V30
HM x 3

Posted : July 25, 2012 12:07 pm

MHunterJones

(@mhunterjones)

Posts: 7

Active Member

Count me in for Q4. SF here, but I'm perfectly happy to read fantasy, too.

Posted : July 31, 2012 2:16 pm

Travesty

(@travesty)

Posts: 34

Advanced Member

I'm up for a 450 swap, PM me if interested Smile (Let me know if you want to do something longer, I'm up to 3k words for my Q4 so far, anything up to that)

"If we can hit that bulls-eye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate."
Futurama - Zapp Brannigan

Posted : August 1, 2012 9:18 am

kairi

(@kairi)

Posts: 9

Active Member

I'm new to the comp and the board, but keen to swap a first 450 critique. If anyone willing could PM me, I'd be a very happy little vegemite.

Kylie Bullivant*

http://www.theamberjacks.blogspot.com.au/
Q4 2012 - submitted

* not the one who showers on youtube!

Posted : August 4, 2012 2:23 pm

David K

(@david-k)

Posts: 149

Bronze Star Member

I'm new to the comp and the board, but keen to swap a first 450 critique. If anyone willing could PM me, I'd be a very happy little vegemite.

I'll do a 450 word swap for you, Kairi. I'm concerned about your use of the term "vegemite" because that word will cause a LOT of the members to cringe with revulsion.

You shouldn't mention it, but equally it *might* be okay and it will allow you to cringe when some start talking about S'mores Smile
PM'd wotf008

Very sporadic submitter but 9 HMs: latest Q1 2021
Author of Gateway Through Time: Available at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1112672

Posted : August 4, 2012 7:43 pm

kairi

(@kairi)

Posts: 9

Active Member

Thanks, David. I think I just PM'd you...tried to, at any rate:)

Cheers,
Kylie

Kylie Bullivant*

http://www.theamberjacks.blogspot.com.au/
Q4 2012 - submitted

* not the one who showers on youtube!

Posted : August 4, 2012 10:16 pm

Dustin Adams

(@tj_knight)

Posts: 1472

Platinum Plus Moderator

I'm ready.
Speak to me, people.

Career: 1x Win -- 2x NW-F -- 2x S-F -- 9x S-HM -- 11x HM -- 7x R
Like me: facebook/AuthorTJKnight

Posted : August 16, 2012 6:02 am

David K

(@david-k)

Posts: 149

Bronze Star Member

I'm ready.
Speak to me, people.

Dustin,
hit send and I'll take a look wotf008

Very sporadic submitter but 9 HMs: latest Q1 2021
Author of Gateway Through Time: Available at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1112672

Posted : August 16, 2012 10:05 am

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