First Four-Fifty Critique Exchanges

s_c_baker · 2011-09-21T16:59:50Z

Tight on time, but want to give and get feedback? Let's swap the first 450 words of our entries each quarter! Why will this be helpful? The first 450 words will be about the first two pages of your entry (if you're using Standard Manuscript Format, which you should be). This isn't much of a story, but unless you can successfully catch an editor's (or judge's, or for that matter reader's) attention in those first pages, it's all they're ever going to read. It follows then, that you want those first four-fifty to be one of the most well-crafted, interesting pieces of the entire story. What good is a bang-whizz-pow scene on page 36 if the reader stops on page 3 because they haven't seen a plot, character goal, or that you can write well enough to be interesting? How this works 1) Respond to the thread indicating your willingness to take part and (optionally) the quarter(s) you're willing to participate. 2) Save the first four-hundred-and-fifty words of your story into a new document. Once there are a few respondents, anyone interested can just send a PM to the four-fiftiers they'd like to swap story with. Er... With whom they'd like to swap story. (If there are more than a few, I'll clump the usernames up into this initial post for ease of reference.) Due to contest rules, remember not to post any details about a particular story, or you'll get yourself disqualified. Four-Fifty Guidelines Obviously, when you're only looking at the first two pages of a story, critiquing is going to be a little ... different. You won't be able to comment on many broad issues (e.g. character development, plot, pacing). Your critiques will necessarily be as truncated as your reading material. Here are a few things to consider. Keep in mind that these are guidelines, not rules. Do whatever works. 1) Does it keep your interest? - This is the most important thing. If ten out of fifteen readers get bored two pages in, the story's in trouble. 2) Is the plot easy to spot? - If the first two pages of a short story don't at least hint at a plot, readers may quit before they get there. 3) Is the protagonist likeable, or at least interesting? - Likewise. 4) Is there conflict? - Conflict drives a story. If there isn't any up front, this may account for lack of plot and interest. 5) Is there a clearly recognizable speculative elements? - For this contest, having an up-front-and-centre speculative element is essential. 6) I can haz grammer? - Technical aspects of the writing craft are last on this list, but certainly not least in importance. So, let's-------------------[post truncated, 450 word limit reached] Edit - Dustin has suggested I add some of the things DF says he looks for in the first few pages: With that in mind, you might also want to look in your critiques for mentions of: Setting The five senses The protagonist's name and some of the things Tina mentions in this post on "dealbreakers".

Corbin.Maxwell

(@corbin-maxwell)

Posts: 269

Silver Member

You’ve read for me. Mostly I’m worried about the first paragraph. I’ll send it to you later. Thanks.

I ain't cut out to be no Jesse James.

Posted : June 7, 2019 12:33 pm

KDLightle

(@kdlightle)

Posts: 12

Active Member

It kinda feels like I’m being given the silent treatment for some reason. Like I got wished into the cornfield.

I'm not ignoring you!!! I'm just busily trying to finish this Quarter's story!!!!!

Posted : June 7, 2019 2:49 pm

Corbin.Maxwell

(@corbin-maxwell)

Posts: 269

Silver Member

Understood.

I ain't cut out to be no Jesse James.

Posted : June 7, 2019 2:56 pm

gmanwrites

(@gmanwriter)

Posts: 60

Bronze Star Member

Anyone willing to swap the first 450 or so words for their Q4? Send me a PM if interested.

3 x SHM
10 x HM
"Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them." -Marcus Aurelius

Posted : July 2, 2019 5:56 am

Thomas Woodward

(@thomas-woodward)

Posts: 54

Bronze Member

I'm also interested in swapping 450s for Q4 - please pm me

5x R
10x HM
2020 Superstars Writing Seminar scholarship award recipient
"No subject is terrible if the story is true, if the prose is clean and honest, and if it affirms courage and grace under pressure." — Ernest Hemingway

Posted : July 3, 2019 1:54 pm

RETreasure

(@rschibler)

Posts: 962

Platinum Member

I know I didn’t get back to a few people on requests - we’ve had an unusually stressful year - but all of you are welcome to shoot me your 450s. Best,

V34: R,HM,R
V35: HM,R,R,HM
V36: R,HM,HM,SHM
V37: HM,SF,SHM,SHM
V38: (P)F, SHM, F, F
V39: SHM, SHM, HM, SHM
Published Finalist Volume 38
Pro’d out Q4V39
www.rebeccaetreasure.com

Managing Editor, Apex Magazine

Posted : July 3, 2019 1:58 pm

mishabazarov04

(@mishabazarov04)

Posts: 3

New Member

Hi everybody,

My name is Michael and I am generally new to this thread. This is my first time trying WoTF, and I was wondering if anyone was interesting in swapping the first 450 words for so for quarter 4. If so, please PM,

Thanks so much, Michael.

Posted : July 25, 2019 11:10 am

RETreasure

(@rschibler)

Posts: 962

Platinum Member

Send it my way Michael!

V34: R,HM,R
V35: HM,R,R,HM
V36: R,HM,HM,SHM
V37: HM,SF,SHM,SHM
V38: (P)F, SHM, F, F
V39: SHM, SHM, HM, SHM
Published Finalist Volume 38
Pro’d out Q4V39
www.rebeccaetreasure.com

Managing Editor, Apex Magazine

Posted : July 25, 2019 11:34 am

Dustin Adams

(@tj_knight)

Posts: 1466

Platinum Plus Moderator

I'm up for a 450 or two if anyone has 'em ready.

PM me for my e-mail if you don't have it, just send if you do!

Career: 1x Win -- 2x NW-F -- 2x S-F -- 9x S-HM -- 11x HM -- 7x R
Like me: facebook/AuthorTJKnight

Posted : August 6, 2019 10:08 pm

RETreasure

(@rschibler)

Posts: 962

Platinum Member

Yayay! Me first!

V34: R,HM,R
V35: HM,R,R,HM
V36: R,HM,HM,SHM
V37: HM,SF,SHM,SHM
V38: (P)F, SHM, F, F
V39: SHM, SHM, HM, SHM
Published Finalist Volume 38
Pro’d out Q4V39
www.rebeccaetreasure.com

Managing Editor, Apex Magazine

Posted : August 7, 2019 2:23 am

Dustin Adams

(@tj_knight)

Posts: 1466

Platinum Plus Moderator

I read two good ones.

Anyone else?

Career: 1x Win -- 2x NW-F -- 2x S-F -- 9x S-HM -- 11x HM -- 7x R
Like me: facebook/AuthorTJKnight

Posted : August 12, 2019 6:13 am

czing

(@czing)

Posts: 287

Silver Member

Sure if you're still willing. Do you have one to swap?

v36 Q1, Q3 - HM; Q4 - R
v37 Q1 - R; Q2 - SHM; Q4 - HM
v38 Q1 - HM; Q2 - SHM; Q3 - HM; Q4 - HM
v39 Q1 - SHM; Q3 - HM; Q4 -RWC
v40 Q1, Q2 - HM; Q3 - Pending

Posted : August 13, 2019 10:55 am

Dustin Adams

(@tj_knight)

Posts: 1466

Platinum Plus Moderator

Sure if you're still willing. Do you have one to swap?

Indeed!
I just received mine back from two critters. I'll update and be ready in a day or two (around Aug 17-18)
Please send a PM for my e-mail, or PM me yours. wotf008

Career: 1x Win -- 2x NW-F -- 2x S-F -- 9x S-HM -- 11x HM -- 7x R
Like me: facebook/AuthorTJKnight

Posted : August 14, 2019 12:27 am

RETreasure

(@rschibler)

Posts: 962

Platinum Member

Did you get mine Dustin? I haven’t received yours.

V34: R,HM,R
V35: HM,R,R,HM
V36: R,HM,HM,SHM
V37: HM,SF,SHM,SHM
V38: (P)F, SHM, F, F
V39: SHM, SHM, HM, SHM
Published Finalist Volume 38
Pro’d out Q4V39
www.rebeccaetreasure.com

Managing Editor, Apex Magazine

Posted : August 14, 2019 4:16 am

Dustin Adams

(@tj_knight)

Posts: 1466

Platinum Plus Moderator

Becky,

I did. I replied on Aug 7. I just resent.

I didn't send mine. I am planning to send a later draft to you if that's OK.
Actually, the 450 is about done. Now to get the ending where I want it. :O

Career: 1x Win -- 2x NW-F -- 2x S-F -- 9x S-HM -- 11x HM -- 7x R
Like me: facebook/AuthorTJKnight

Posted : August 14, 2019 8:56 am

RETreasure

(@rschibler)

Posts: 962

Platinum Member

Weird. I have nothing from you. I’ll keep checking and let you know if it shows up.

Correction, I have one message from you from Aug 7 and nothing since.

V34: R,HM,R
V35: HM,R,R,HM
V36: R,HM,HM,SHM
V37: HM,SF,SHM,SHM
V38: (P)F, SHM, F, F
V39: SHM, SHM, HM, SHM
Published Finalist Volume 38
Pro’d out Q4V39
www.rebeccaetreasure.com

Managing Editor, Apex Magazine

Posted : August 14, 2019 12:13 pm

Dustin Adams

(@tj_knight)

Posts: 1466

Platinum Plus Moderator

I'll send a PM.
Your 450 was solid and I only had general thoughts.

Career: 1x Win -- 2x NW-F -- 2x S-F -- 9x S-HM -- 11x HM -- 7x R
Like me: facebook/AuthorTJKnight

Posted : August 15, 2019 1:46 am

Alex Harford

(@alexh)

Posts: 311

Silver Member

I'm up for swaps if anyone has them - send me a PM (it doesn't have to be for Q4 if you don't have a draft right now). wotf008 I'm working on three drafts but can get the first 450 words of my preferred (until I change my mind again) one ready by Monday at the latest.

Posted : August 28, 2019 1:24 am

AndyDibble

(@andydibble)

Posts: 101

Bronze Star Member

I have some extra time now so if anyone want me to critique the first 450 of their piece, I'm happy to. PM me

First Place, Q1 Vol 36
Recently out:
"Letter To A Christian Nation Not Sworn To The Elder Dark: https://www.sciphijournal.org/index.php/2025/03/27/letter-to-a-christian-nation-not-sworn-to-the-elder-dark/
"Deymons" in Mysterion: https://www.mysteriononline.com/2024/02/deymons.html

Posted : September 5, 2019 6:53 pm

einstein36

(@einstein36)

Posts: 85

Bronze Star Member

Hi there,
Would anyone here be interested in taking a read of the beginning of my story for the next volume contest? It's about 450+
Just PM or email me and I will send it along your way....
Thanks..

Posted : September 29, 2019 5:58 pm

RETreasure

(@rschibler)

Posts: 962

Platinum Member

Always. PM me

V34: R,HM,R
V35: HM,R,R,HM
V36: R,HM,HM,SHM
V37: HM,SF,SHM,SHM
V38: (P)F, SHM, F, F
V39: SHM, SHM, HM, SHM
Published Finalist Volume 38
Pro’d out Q4V39
www.rebeccaetreasure.com

Managing Editor, Apex Magazine

Posted : October 25, 2019 4:22 am

Alex Harford

(@alexh)

Posts: 311

Silver Member

New to the forum, but not to the contest.

Looking to swap, or just send for feedback. The more critical the better, be harsh. PM me.

I also have one that's near the limit and needs to be dragged over the coals, if anyone's keen.

I'm always up for 450 swaps.

Posted : November 2, 2019 8:30 am

Alex Harford

(@alexh)

Posts: 311

Silver Member

Thankyou.

Just letting you know I've e-mailed this, in case my critique didn't reach you like happened with another member. wotf008

I have had something technical done to my e-mail account so that shouldn't happen again...

Posted : November 6, 2019 7:25 am

Dustin Adams

(@tj_knight)

Posts: 1466

Platinum Plus Moderator

Alex,

Just saw your PM. Just wanted to apologize publicly for not replying for two months. 🙁

Next 450 of yours - hit me!

Career: 1x Win -- 2x NW-F -- 2x S-F -- 9x S-HM -- 11x HM -- 7x R
Like me: facebook/AuthorTJKnight

Posted : November 21, 2019 5:01 am

AndyDibble

(@andydibble)

Posts: 101

Bronze Star Member

I'm happy to do critiques. PM me.

First Place, Q1 Vol 36
Recently out:
"Letter To A Christian Nation Not Sworn To The Elder Dark: https://www.sciphijournal.org/index.php/2025/03/27/letter-to-a-christian-nation-not-sworn-to-the-elder-dark/
"Deymons" in Mysterion: https://www.mysteriononline.com/2024/02/deymons.html

Posted : November 24, 2019 12:16 am

Dustin Adams

(@tj_knight)

Posts: 1466

Platinum Plus Moderator

Bumping to remind folks this exists.

I'm open if anyone has something ready, or even wants to run a first draft 450 by me.

Career: 1x Win -- 2x NW-F -- 2x S-F -- 9x S-HM -- 11x HM -- 7x R
Like me: facebook/AuthorTJKnight

Posted : April 24, 2020 7:27 am

TheGreatToddman

(@thegreattoddman_1617101148)

Posts: 10

Active Member

I haven't started my story for this quarter (3 I think?), and I have limited editting experience. That said, I'd be happy to take a peek over any first 450's you have.

Please reach out to me if you'd like to exchange. DM is alright, however I'm new to the forum so shooting me an email might have a quicker response.

Take care of yourself.

WotF
V37 Q1: HM

Posted : April 24, 2020 1:24 pm

Scafontaine

(@scafontaine)

Posts: 119

Bronze Star Member

If anyone is willing, I have a first 450 that I'd like someone to look at and tell me what they think.

Posted : May 2, 2020 11:36 pm

AndyDibble

(@andydibble)

Posts: 101

Bronze Star Member

Anyone should feel free to PM me their story to critique, first 450 or longer. I may ask you to critique a comparable portion of a story of mine.

First Place, Q1 Vol 36
Recently out:
"Letter To A Christian Nation Not Sworn To The Elder Dark: https://www.sciphijournal.org/index.php/2025/03/27/letter-to-a-christian-nation-not-sworn-to-the-elder-dark/
"Deymons" in Mysterion: https://www.mysteriononline.com/2024/02/deymons.html

Posted : May 3, 2020 1:15 am

Dustin Adams

(@tj_knight)

Posts: 1466

Platinum Plus Moderator

If anyone is willing, I have a first 450 that I'd like someone to look at and tell me what they think.

Ready!

Career: 1x Win -- 2x NW-F -- 2x S-F -- 9x S-HM -- 11x HM -- 7x R
Like me: facebook/AuthorTJKnight

Posted : May 3, 2020 5:59 am

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