Drop onomatopoeia?

Posted by: @joebenet

I want to better understand better a tip I received in a recent crit that suggested dropping onomatopoeia because the judges have stated their dislike for it.

Is it possible the judges said they don't like "overuse" of the device?

How does that align with the tips to add sensory details everywhere, including sounds?

Thanks for any insights, then get back to writing!

I would imagine the overuse of any device within the framework of a single story would get tiresome. I'm a big fan of Tabasco sauce, especially Chipotle Tabasco (Cthulhu sauce is just as good. Wait. No. Cholula sauce.) Just the right amount makes my food taste great. Too much though and the meal is ruined.

Exactly. Onomatopoeia, like alliteration, simile, metaphor, rhyme, rhythm, any literary device, can be overused, but when used at the right time in the right amount, can complete a story. I'm pretty skeptical of anything that says Don't Do This, but we want to make sure we're not overusing anything. Knowing the judges preferences can make a difference, though - but for WotF I don't think writing to a judge other than David Farland is a good idea, because there's no way to know which judges will be called upon each quarter.

A Prateworthy question,

If I understand correctly, you're using onomatopoeias to indicate sounds or sound effects.

Let's say a steak is dropped on a grill and the author writes, 'Sizzle,' as a stand-alone sound effect with a period after the word. The word becomes an onomatopoetic sound effect. I used one in my Finalist story and two in one of my SHMs. 

If it is a word substituted for a more common verb (I recall in Philbrick's Freak the Mighty that the POV character was "whammed" rather than hit.) it can be both shocking and memorable. In Philbrick's example ("He whammed me...") the gerund whammed takes a direct object (As gerunds are known to do in English, those little devils). Whammed would also be considered an onomatopoeia in this case.

Using onomatopoetic gerunds is not common. I remember the example because it was so strikingly wrong. But it worked. It conveyed at once the hit, its relative forcefulness and the relative ignorance of the POV character. No similar usage appeared in the rest of the novel as I recall.

Bam! (Onomatopoetic sound effect in a stand-alone paragraph.)

Gauge the importance of sounds to the scene. By all means, use stand-alone sound effects if required. They offer an immediacy to the narrative that few other devices can equal. But never let it devolve into "Hand Waving," where a bunch of glossy tricks mask the plot. That will be dismissed by judges every time.

Speaking of judges, I have never heard on podcast, read in articles or tips, or read in any of my large number of writing books and manuals any mention of limiting onomatopoeias. (Adverbs, yes, limit them, they weaken your prose.) Judges aren't attacking onomatopoeias with red pens and paper shredders.

It may be that the sensory experience that you are trying to convey can be written in another way. Generally, if you can put what you want to do into a question for a search engine, chances are that someone will have written about it.

My suggestion: Like any element of a critique, you should evaluate it and either change what is needed or disregard it and scroll on. If this particular element continues to confuse, just move on.

Have fun,

Kent

@kent that was a fantastic summary. I’ve received similar advice to remove sound effects and was confused because I see them in other stories and books. However, the point I got from your excellent grammar lesson is that sound effects are just another tool. Used correctly and sparingly, it can be very effective. But like any writing tool, we can easily overuse it.