Crafting a Crafy PO...
 
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Crafting a Crafy POV... with your help!

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JT
 JT
(@jtwrites)
Posts: 38
Bronze Member
Topic starter
 

Greetings fam!
I have an unusual question I’d like your advice on. I have a unique POV that I’m attempting to crack. It’s close 3rd person but bridges two characters. For context, imagine that a pair of identical twins have telepathy and are always together. The story establishes that they are both adding to the narrative. Say character A pays attention to emotional details while B notes physical reality, how would you establish that and differentiate between character A and B?

This relates to my contest entry so I’m being intentionally vague on the specifics. These details are more involved than I’m suggesting and relate to the plot. The story follows character A, where B realizes that A is narrating (non-spoken). This isn’t necessarily breaking the 4th wall either. Due to their telepathy, character B understands that A is causing a narrative to land on a page.

I’m adding an except from a separate work to help illustrate what I’m describing. Just imagine that we’ve previously identified characters who are annotating their parts.

Excerpt:


Grace stilled, her breath catching, her puffy green eyes widening after hearing the unexpected voice in an adjacent room. Her heart fled into its attic, then frantically stomped about, the arrhythmic report making it impossible for her ears to reach through the doorway at her back.
 
She was standing in her own bathroom. Overhead, an incandescent bulb’s hum grew audible, the single light casting her within an island of light. Her blond curls were pulled into a messy bunch, her overalls and forearms speckled with dry paint. She clutched at a pendant around her neck, a golden heart on a gold chain, as she looked over her shoulder.

Paragraph one focuses on internal details while two focuses on the environment. I’ve intentionally italicized the second paragraph because that’s how I originally formatted my story. Here, Grace would be made aware that a 2nd character is narrating what she is not. This creates a two-fold problem. First, it absconds with an inner monologue’s typical formatting which would deny Grace this ability. Second, I don’t know that I like the italicized paragraphs especially when character B contributes a lot.

So what are you thoughts? How do you think it should be formatted/delineated? If it was previously established, would partitioning emotions and reality into separate paragraphs be enough to clearly identify who is contributing what to the narrative?

I’ve considered omniscient narration but it doesn’t quite fit the story. I’ve also considered writing character A in first person, where B’s is added in as 3rd. I think this option is too jarring though.

Have you seen something similar done in another story? If so, how did they pull it off? What story/book do you think would serve as a good reference?

Thanks in advance!
JT


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Posted : November 14, 2025 7:29 am
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