Five Minute Rant

Asimov's guidelines say "Borderline fantasy is okay, but no sword and sorcery." The fact that I have that line memorized should tell you how hard I've been trying to convince myself that a Vodoun story is only "borderline". Asimov's was the first magazine I ever subscribed to, so I have a nostalgic desire to sell there. But no matter how hard I try, I can't see this story as SF. Fantasy or horror, maybe, but not SF.

Darn. OK I'll stand by my three. Tor is too long of a wait and you've got a nice long story you can put up now for 2.99 after it goes through IGMS (with two Cs, in Intergalactic damn it!!), Annex.

Tina,
I don't think they'll notice.

They'll be too busy looking at the part that says your a WotF winer.

Too subtle?

I'm so incredibly mad at myself!! ERG. I was up last night past midnight trying to formulate a blog post and also sending out my Q2/3 stories (I know, I know....what a problem to have *sigh*). I misspelled the magazines name on my cover letter in one of them.

I MISSPELLED THE MAGAZINE'S NAME!!

I forgot a "c" in Intergalactic. I was staring at the damn thing typing it onto the cover letter and I rechecked it twice...found all the naughty and nice. I hit send all happy with myself and take a look to see the misspelling.

do you think they'll notice?

I feel like a cheerleader who spilled water on her uniform before the big game. MY WORLD IS OVER!

This is why I cheat in my cover letters and say: "for publication in your magazine."

Tina,
I don't think they'll notice.

They'll be too busy looking at the part that says your a WotF winer.

Too subtle?

Hopefully they don't see I also spelled that as "WOTF wanker" Or something equally mortifying.

Ok, Thank God. It was just the missing c.

And Stewart I'll have to remember that next time. 🙁 this was my first cover letter that mentions WOTF. I forgot to mention the finalist thing on a few I sent a few weeks ago.

Hopefully they don't see I also spelled that as "WOTF wanker" Or something equally mortifying.

Ok, Thank God. It was just the missing c.

And Stewart I'll have to remember that next time. 🙁 this was my first cover letter that mentions WOTF. I forgot to mention the finalist thing on a few I sent a few weeks ago.

I think I'm going to start sending out surrealist cover letters.

Dear IGMS editors,

Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,

Stewart C Baker

Stewart,
A cover letter like that will land you straight back here, in the 5 minute rant thread!

<-- me actually laughing at my keyboard. Er, laughing at your post, not my keyboard.

"put this in your pipe and smoke it"

I like this idea. I'm thinking of sending mine in hieroglyphics. This way if they say I misspelled something I can pull the whole spelling-and-grammar-as-rules-didn't-exist-then card.

ETA: although I have to say that I'm surprised you didn't go straight for your strength in Haiku ... might as well impress the judges.

Stewart,
A cover letter like that will land you straight back here, in the 5 minute rant thread!

<-- me actually laughing at my keyboard. Er, laughing at your post, not my keyboard.

Glad you clarified that, Dustin. Keyboards have enough self-esteem issues as it is.

Darn. OK I'll stand by my three. Tor is too long of a wait and you've got a nice long story you can put up now for 2.99 after it goes through IGMS (with two Cs, in Intergalactic damn it!!), Annex.

True. Tor is agonizingly slow - I made the mistake of a sending one of my first stories there first, but I refuse to take it out because I need to learn patience!! However, for a 17K story... you're getting $4250.

So.

Tina,
I don't think they'll notice.

They'll be too busy looking at the part that says your a WotF winer.

Too subtle?

Well, after the kill-you-with-the-passage-of-time saga that is Q1 and the warhammer of unexpected doom that is Q2 for many of us, I can unequivocally say I am a WOTF winer now, too. *sluuuuuuuuuuurp*

Tina,
I don't think they'll notice.

They'll be too busy looking at the part that says your a WotF winer.

Too subtle?

Well, after the kill-you-with-the-passage-of-time saga that is Q1 and the warhammer of unexpected doom that is Q2 for many of us, I can unequivocally say I am a WOTF winer now, too. *sluuuuuuuuuuurp*

OH Grayson you're my hero. I felt bad I totally missed the joke the first pass through. I told Dustin that's what he gets for joking with a dyslexic.

I didn't notice it, either!

Stewart,
A cover letter like that will land you straight back here, in the 5 minute rant thread!

<-- me actually laughing at my keyboard. Er, laughing at your post, not my keyboard.

Glad you clarified that, Dustin. Keyboards have enough self-esteem issues as it is.

I laugh at my keyboard all the time. I have a wireless keyboard. Precisely why I have a wireless keyboard you can discover by reading a thread over in the Kitchen Sink section of the forum titled something like, "Aaaargh! The Dog Just Ate My Keyboard!"

Anyway, my new wireless keyboard has a habit of missing out letters...

Wireless is definitely iffy at times.

I'm so incredibly mad at myself!! ERG. I was up last night past midnight trying to formulate a blog post and also sending out my Q2/3 stories (I know, I know....what a problem to have *sigh*). I misspelled the magazines name on my cover letter in one of them.

I MISSPELLED THE MAGAZINE'S NAME!!

I forgot a "c" in Intergalactic. I was staring at the damn thing typing it onto the cover letter and I rechecked it twice...found all the naughty and nice. I hit send all happy with myself and take a look to see the misspelling.

do you think they'll notice?

I feel like a cheerleader who spilled water on her uniform before the big game. MY WORLD IS OVER!

I've done that a time or three. And I have addressed my cover letter to the wrong editor a time or three also. I know one magazine noticed. The editor sent a nice E-mail asking if I had meant to send it to them. They said it wouldn't influence them but one never knows about that.

Editors know that nobody's perfect. Stanley Schmidt once sent me another author's rejection letter by mistake. Five minutes later, he sent me mine and apologized for the mixup. So I think they can understand normal human mixups.

I actually was happy with Schmidt's mistake: my rejection letter was MUCH nicer!

Editors know that nobody's perfect. Stanley Schmidt once sent me another author's rejection letter by mistake. Five minutes later, he sent me mine and apologized for the mixup. So I think they can understand normal human mixups.

I actually was happy with Schmidt's mistake: my rejection letter was MUCH nicer!

Speaking of Schmidt, how many days are you at?

Speaking of Schmidt, how many days are you at?

272 days with my first, 61 with my second. I'm getting ready to send a third tonight.

Dawn must be over 300 days on hers by now!

Speaking of Schmidt, how many days are you at?

272 days with my first, 61 with my second. I'm getting ready to send a third tonight.

Dawn must be over 300 days on hers by now!

I was wondering if he was speeding up or if he really disliked my last story. Two weeks. That's a record for him, usually it's been two months or more. His rejection scared me for a second until I saw it wasn't from Joni. Besides being way fast it wasn't as blunt sounding as some of his have been. Most have redone his rejection E-mails recently.

'Course still upset over that F&SF rejection:
That story had all types of help with the writing, even expert help--it has to be one of my better written stories but not even a "couldn't keep my interest".

But than again basically it is still my writing.

Tina: I had an editor respond to me in a rejection letter that started "Dead Dawn".

----> 35 responses are pending (1 min | 43.4 mean avg | 8 median | 345 max days waiting | 81.8 std dev)

Also: I am at 345 days now. I know NNiNN but he's got to be holding onto it for a reason, right? Anyway, I just sent in another submission (they take multiple subs) so hopefully he'll see something he likes in that one (or not) and make a decision one way or the other.

Though, really if he is going to buy it, he can hang onto it as long as he likes... 😉

Happy Friday!

Seriously, 345 days is too long. I want to get published but I really think markets that take that long are beyond funny. If you withdrew that story and sent it to Lightspeed you might have it sold in days.

I'm with Mike Resnick. Beef up SFWA, make sure amateurs like me can never get in if that's what it takes to get wait times down (and other things).

I also don't get holding a story for almost a year, or frankly for more than a month after reading it. If it isnt a yes after a month mulling it, that seems to me an argument that it's a no.

I think at that point it might be a "I don't have space for this--but I don't want my competitors to get it either." or a "Huh, what's this manuscript doing underneath my filing cabinet?"

I think at that point it might be a "I don't have space for this--but I don't want my competitors to get it either." or a "Huh, what's this manuscript doing underneath my filing cabinet?"

Honestly, I think it's, "This is awfully long, so I need to wait until I have a novella slot open that's not filled be Brad Freakin' Torgersen or Ken Freakin' Liu or Patty Freakin' Jansen." Analog has bought stories after that long.

To me there's a difference between a market which generally decides in 30 days, sometimes in 60 to 90, and occasionally has to stretch out 200+, and a market which can't commit to under 8 months for any story at all.

RANT! RANT! RANT!

Lightspeed just rejected my fantasy story, a rare under 4K effort for me. He liked it, but not enough.

RANT! RANT! RANT!

Oh, well, off to Duotrope!

OH, WAIT! OFF TO DUOTROPE AFTER I COMPLY WITH THE REWRITE REQUEST FROM ANALOG!!!!!!!!! "If you can tighten and streamline those, I’d be very interested in another look at the result."

OH, WAIT! OFF TO DUOTROPE AFTER I COMPLY WITH THE REWRITE REQUEST FROM ANALOG!!!!!!!!! "If you can tighten and streamline those, I’d be very interested in another look at the result."

Awesome!

RANT! RANT! RANT!

Lightspeed just rejected my fantasy story, a rare under 4K effort for me. He liked it, but not enough.

RANT! RANT! RANT!

Oh, well, off to Duotrope!

OH, WAIT! OFF TO DUOTROPE AFTER I COMPLY WITH THE REWRITE REQUEST FROM ANALOG!!!!!!!!! "If you can tighten and streamline those, I’d be very interested in another look at the result."

Fan freaking tastic!

My 2-year-old decided that Old McDonald's farm only has cows. Consider how repetitive this choice made my day. ::palmface::

RANT! RANT! RANT!

OH, WAIT! OFF TO DUOTROPE AFTER I COMPLY WITH THE REWRITE REQUEST FROM ANALOG!!!!!!!!! "If you can tighten and streamline those, I’d be very interested in another look at the result."

I missed the name in the first post but does this make two people from here who recently received a request for a rewrite from Schmidt? Or did Martin leave the first post?

In either case Hey, good work to you.

And something to dream about for me, after he might be the editor in second place who has read more of my stories than any other.

It was Martin in both cases. He likes to complain about how wonderful his life is.