Five Minute Rant

Ah yes. I did not use up my full five minutes because I used abbreviations. This means I'm still annoyed. I checked the email times. 23 minutes between acknowledgement and rejection.

That's pretty fast. He must have really hated it!

Oh Gator, please. We were rejected there too, remember, after making a couple of sales.

No, your story was rejected, it was sooo boring. All my stories sold.

Hmm, you might be right there.

It may be possible that they have instituted a slush reader who has a quick trigger finger as the number of submissions they receive climbs. A necessary evil perhaps.

It may be possible that they have instituted a slush reader who has a quick trigger finger as the number of submissions they receive climbs. A necessary evil perhaps.

That's what I assume, since I am quite sure this story would have interested TGD himself.

I have never worked as a slush reader. Maybe if I had I shouldn't feel so annoyed. I am sure many slush readers do know what they are doing. On the other hand ....

I have never worked as a slush reader. Maybe if I had I shouldn't feel so annoyed. I am sure many slush readers do know what they are doing.

Now you're being reasonable on the Rant thread! Stop that!

(Seriously, 23 minutes? That's insane!)

And the tiny rusalka story gets yet another "seal of approval," this time from C. C., but still a rejection.
Goddamnit. I don't know whether to squeal in excitement or huff steam out my nose in frustration.
aaargh, I'll try Uncanny next.

It may be possible that they have instituted a slush reader who has a quick trigger finger as the number of submissions they receive climbs. A necessary evil perhaps.

That's what I assume, since I am quite sure this story would have interested TGD himself.

I have never worked as a slush reader. Maybe if I had I shouldn't feel so annoyed. I am sure many slush readers do know what they are doing. On the other hand ....

I'll second that rant, Ishmael. Seriously, it does seem that I only sell or have "near misses" at markets where there either aren't slush readers at all, or where the pro-editor at least takes a brief look at all the stories.

And the tiny rusalka story gets yet another "seal of approval," this time from C. C., but still a rejection.
Goddamnit. I don't know whether to squeal in excitement or huff steam out my nose in frustration.
aaargh, I'll try Uncanny next.

Commiserations on the rejection. Hope you make it next time.

By the way, your post made me check and find out that Uncanny will be open for submissions for a week in July (16th-23rd) so thanks for that. Uncanny has been closed to submissions for so long I'd almost forgotten about it.

I almost did too! If it weren't for twitter, I'd probably send this one to Tor to get rejected after 6 months

Uncanny is a beautiful market, so do try them out. I recommend The Heat of Us only because it still haunts me.

Again, subs are open June 16-23, people

Gah! Somebody buy one of my stories! Damn it!

Just had to get that off my chest.

A 131 day one line form rejection from Analog?

I guess I'll have to file that with my 209 and my 126. I had the impression from my last few submissions to them that par for me was around 78 nowadays. When this one went so long I thought I might have cracked it at last. Foolish boy!

A 131 day one line form rejection from Analog?

I guess I'll have to file that with my 209 and my 126. I had the impression from my last few submissions to them that par for me was around 78 nowadays. When this one went so long I thought I might have cracked it at last. Foolish boy!

sympathies

Gah! Somebody buy one of my stories! Damn it!

Just had to get that off my chest.

Been meaning to say "I know the feeling" since you posted this.

Now I add that would be some good news for my writing which I need.

A 131 day one line form rejection from Analog?

I guess I'll have to file that with my 209 and my 126. I had the impression from my last few submissions to them that par for me was around 78 nowadays. When this one went so long I thought I might have cracked it at last. Foolish boy!

Well, I know that feeling too. Sometimes it just takes so long you feel it means something good.

A 131 day one line form rejection from Analog?

I guess I'll have to file that with my 209 and my 126. I had the impression from my last few submissions to them that par for me was around 78 nowadays. When this one went so long I thought I might have cracked it at last. Foolish boy!

Well, I know that feeling too. Sometimes it just takes so long you feel it means something good.

And after holding a story that long, you'd think they owe you at least a line or two.

aaaargh, really? goddamn and the hells and aaargh

Personals with 'send more's are awesome, it's just that...dammit, would somebody buy a story already??

Is this the bit when writers are in a personals loop, on the cusp of the first sale? Have any of you gone through this?

It's just frustrating (but encouraging at the same time - I mean, I must be doing something right...)

aaaargh, really? goddamn and the hells and aaargh

Personals with 'send more's are awesome, it's just that...dammit, would somebody buy a story already??

Is this the bit when writers are in a personals loop, on the cusp of the first sale? Have any of you gone through this?

It's just frustrating (but encouraging at the same time - I mean, I must be doing something right...)

It IS frustrating and you ARE doing something right. Just keep doing it: writing and submitting stories. It almost always takes way longer than you want, but it's the only way to crack the short story markets.

This is a different sort of five-minute rant.
Normally I'm here ranting about a rejection or Dave's failure to see my <sarcasming on>shining brilliance<sarcasm off>.
My short fiction agent mentioned that a recent short of mine reminded her in tone of a mash-up between Dr. Sleep and the movie Brainstorm. I informed here my story most like Brainstorm was too dark to be shown around. Naturally she wanted to see that one. I spend a few weeks editing the hell out of it (I had written it 12 years ago) and on Thursday I emailed it to her.
I cannot begin to describe the level of anxiety surging through my body and mind. This is the only story where I am actively afraid to hear from people what they think of it and now I've sent it to my agent.
In comparison, waiting on DF seems so easy.

Bob, if you don't risk putting it out there:

1. You're never going to know what anyone thinks of it

2. You won't be able to come here and complain about people who are not smart enough to understand you.

My Q2 story is the highest standard of lyrical writing of which I am capable. It is written about the moors where I have lived for many years and which I love. I am so convinced of its veracity that I feel I am literally describing what happened here 1500 years ago. But it is only 3400 words and the action lasts maybe fifteen minutes. There simply isn't time for all the structural elements that we're taught to use. So there isn't any point in my being upset about not making finalist. It doesn't meet the needs of this particular market; maybe there isn't a market for it.

But, as we say in Glasgow, that doesn't stop it being pure dead brilliant!

ooohhh I get another turn at the five-minute rant...

Actually I'm fairly non-plussed but that's because I've learned the secret to taking a rejection in stride.
Be utterly exhausted.
Thursday night my body said - you are very tired sleep.
But my brain after two hours said. "Hell, boy I got things to think. There's that new story and all sorts of nonsense. I'm not sleeping."
So Friday at work I dragged myself from case to case, ate way too much starchy sugar fuel, and when the email from my agent came in with a rejection for my novel I was like 'eh, he's sending out again Monday.'
So my military SF novel has unlocked the achievement for me, First Agented Rejection. Let me tell you it's a lot better than a slush pile rejection. We got actual feedback. Nothing I can use, what she didn't like (That our current nation states pretty much expand out into space without unifying) is pretty much baked into the cake and can't be edited out, but it is feedback.

And far from unknown in the genre. Don't we have trouble with the Russians at some stage in Rama? Hey, if it's good enough for a series begun by Arthur C Clarke it's good enough for us, Bob.

Nil carborundum, mon ami. <img src="

Yeah, that's a strange comment. I always assumed the single Earth-wide government was a simplifying device when I've encountered it, rather than a serious prediction of how the course of history will proceed. So to have a publisher criticize you for not being lazy... head-scratcher.

Yeah, that's a strange comment. I always assumed the single Earth-wide government was a simplifying device when I've encountered it, rather than a serious prediction of how the course of history will proceed. So to have a publisher criticize you for not being lazy... head-scratcher.

The exact comment was that it felt 'dated.'
Oh well, it is a matter of tastes.
Ishmael this is the novel that you helped me out with in understanding peerage.
It's going to Baen tomorrow and I think that house would be a good fit.

Yes it certainly should be. Since Baen have a free library and I am a cheapskate, I've read a lot of their offerings.

Hey, your peer could be the new Honor Harrington. Only if I remember rightly he doesn't have a treecat. So for the next episode how about you introduce a smart foxhound?. I can tell you exactly when to blow horns, shout 'tally-ho' and all that stuff?

Yes it certainly should be. Since Baen have a free library and I am a cheapskate, I've read a lot of their offerings.

Fight the Scott stereotype, Ishmael, fight it.

Ouch, ouch ouch, ouch ouch ouch.

Rant rant at myself.

I just pushed the wrong button and submitted a second story to Analog in three days when I meant to send it to Asimov's. That was my Q4, that was.

Now I have to write another one. Rant rant rant.

Unless of course Analog publishes it. In which case unrant.

Yes it certainly should be. Since Baen have a free library and I am a cheapskate, I've read a lot of their offerings.

Fight the Scott stereotype, Ishmael, fight it.

A Yorkshireman is like an Aberdonian with the generosity squeezed out.

Ouch, ouch ouch, ouch ouch ouch.

Rant rant at myself.

I just pushed the wrong button and submitted a second story to Analog in three days when I meant to send it to Asimov's. That was my Q4, that was.

Now I have to write another one. Rant rant rant.

Unless of course Analog publishes it. In which case unrant.

Yes, e-subbing opens up whole new vistas of mistakes.

Ouch, ouch ouch, ouch ouch ouch.

Rant rant at myself.

I just pushed the wrong button and submitted a second story to Analog in three days when I meant to send it to Asimov's. That was my Q4, that was.

Now I have to write another one. Rant rant rant.

Unless of course Analog publishes it. In which case unrant.

I did the same thing exact thing, except my first submission was already 110 days out, so I doubt they will remember by the time they get to the second one.

Yes it certainly should be. Since Baen have a free library and I am a cheapskate, I've read a lot of their offerings.

Fight the Scott stereotype, Ishmael, fight it.

A Yorkshireman is like an Aberdonian with the generosity squeezed out.

Everything I know about Yorkshiremen I learned from Monty Python's sketch 'The Four Yorkshiremen."

I only have five minutes, so here goes. I went to a writer's conference in beautiful Napa Valley.

1. A six inch baked potato is NOT a main course.

2. One piece of toast with a few pieces of lettuce on top is not a salad; it's an appetizer.

3. They promised a box lunch and promised a pizza for turning in an evaluation. For both, we were given a box of ramen noodles instead.

4. We picked up our food in the kitchen. It was already served up in stainless steel trays lined with parchment paper. (Who needs a choice). We marched through to an outside door to get a dessert square in a cloud of hornets in 100 degree temperatures (highest was 107). Those who weren't vegetarian could grab a couple slices of lunchmeat at the same time (yes, outside in the heat). On the other side of the kitchen patio, we could select our drink... water or the sweet drink of the day (like punch). We ate outside in the courtyard.

5. When the women's restroom ran out of soap the last morning, they didn't bother to replace it. We were only going to be there until after lunch after all.

6. I took a room in a 'recommended' motel. Killed a cockroach on day 4.

7. Only coffee for breakfast. NO TEA!!? Abomination! Barbarians!

8. It wasn't cheap. With fee, motel, flights, supplemental food... thousands.