TJ Knight's opinion on the usage of: It Was

Good point, and with examples to help process. Thank you for sharing these insights.

I'm adding this to my 'check your story before you submit list.'

Note: I found six instances in my current story of "it was" and three at the start of a sentence. I reworded all of them except the following.

Question: Suggestion for the following sentences that use "it was" twice? I think it fits, but was curious about an alternative.

Despite the potential danger of mercenaries returning, the Schwarz family deserved a proper burial. It was more than an obligation for kind souls; it was respect.

Todd,

I should have clarified in my exceptions above (I may edit). It was - for monsters or - it was when you know what It is.

It was lurking in the shadows, a hulking, breathing ... mass.
"What is that?"
"Shh. It'll hear us."

Or:

The hose sprayed water that caught sunlight and scattered rainbows onto the pavement. It was beautiful to behold. 

I'm not sure I would change yours. I like the repetition and the feel of alteration. The way something sounds is important, too. Sometimes it was works. Besides, we know It is referring to the burial. 

You might consider if there is a character or group associated with the burial, to use them instead. "Gene believed this went beyond an obligation for kind souls. This was respect." (Or Gene felt, depending on the Myers-Briggs personality type of your character. Haha.)  

Posted by: @tj_knight

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It was raining and Anton's hair was getting wet.
Rain fell in sheets. Anton’s hair became matted and cold drops ran down his cheeks like tears.

The thing about these two examples, is that I feel like they're two very different stories.

"It was raining, and Anton's hair was getting wet." We don't know much about Anton yet, but we know he's vain about his hair, and he's not happy about having to be in the rain. Like, that's the one thing he's worried about right now. I feel like if you were trying to write with some humor, and you leaned into this terse tone, it might actually work. 

"Anton's hair became matted and cold drops ran down his cheeks like tears." Now Anton's an emo. Or he's had a very bad breakup. I feel like it changes from Anton being mildly annoyed, to him being the saddest sap to ever maple syrup. I honestly feel less hooked by this second one, because of the trope factor. I think you'd have to follow up on this sentence very carefully, lest it get bogged down too much. 

Then again, I'm reading them as if they're the first sentence in a story/paragraph. If we're in the middle of a dramatic scene, the second would probably work better. Context is everything, and there are exceptions to every rule.

But yes, creative verbing can be very helpful for immersion and makes your writing seem more polished overall. 😆 

Rain pattered cold on Anton's hair.

was: first/third person-singular past tense conjugate of "be" or "to be."

I've suffered from a particularly viril case of was-itis for years. It causes me to do wasectomies before sending any manuscript. (Seriously, I do a global search for was, and rework every sentence that doesn't need it.) I've often found that it is only a preemptive strike at past tense, and as such, can be remedied with the proper verb. But it does have its uses.

To begin a sentence with "It was" is to set a vague and somewhat ethereal mood rather than crisply striking at a specific feeling. If that is the mood the author wishes to convey, no problem - unless it's overused.

Also, being vague, it is heavily dependent upon the rest of the sentence, unless it is the stand-alone answer to a question ("Was that TJ Knight?" "It was."). The rest of the sentence can therefore support or render ineffective its use. (< Wow, that might be the worst good sentence I've ever written.) In any case, I agree with measuring its use carefully.

BTW I love "Neuromancer"

The Anton bit wasn't about the type of story it is, or how emo he right and truly is, it's just a quick example of changing It Was to something else (It was raining: Rain fell). I may have gotten carried away with piling on after the change, but I do find that often happens when I remove It Was. Something about the exercise makes me see the entire scene differently. Sometimes removing it is more difficult and requires that type of literary gymnastics. And sometimes I just don't. It's situation dependent. 

Looking at it now, this does seem to boil down to moving the subject to the start of the sentence. I had a pleasant back and forth via PM with someone who took on the challenge and aligned with what I often find when doing this - that the change creates unexpected additions. I'm a words, sentence, and structure guy. Maybe that's why I have so many novels on my hard drive and not with publishing houses, because there are certainly authors out there who are better at big picture. My sentences may be great, but it's hard to sell them. Anyway, YMMV of course with anything I post in here. My goal is to help one person. My lofty goal is to help more than one.