Jibber Jabber - Q1 - 29

What's all this about Topanga Canyon? I am so totally confused.

My commiserations to the recent few as well.

Ooh! More rejections. My condolences Gwasch. Better luck next quarter, which feels like only days away. And thanks again guys (Kary, Thomas, SC Baker and all) for your kind words. Now I've got no excuse to give up!
Hope we get the blog soon. Then we can all move on to obsessing about Q2.
Preston Dennett (aka: Topanga Canyon) Hey, maybe that should be my pen-name.
(HM x 2)

Preston Dennett (aka: Topanga Canyon) Hey, maybe that should be my pen-name.
(HM x 2)

Hehe. I'd like to pretend I'm upset, but I really only was the first day I got the news. . .

Still if I don't place at least HM for the entire year, I'm going to be, uh... flabbergasted.

What's all this about Topanga Canyon? I am so totally confused.

Here's the relevant thread: http://forum.writersofthefuture.com/viewtopic.php?f=16&t=1130&hilit=topanga+canyon&start=30#p26607

ETA I totally forgot about the "HAIRY-FACED MACAROON-EATING NINCOMPOOP" stuff in that thread.

Ooh! More rejections. My condolences Gwasch. Better luck next quarter, which feels like only days away. And thanks again guys (Kary, Thomas, SC Baker and all) for your kind words. Now I've got no excuse to give up!

My only request is that you wait until I magically make grand prize winner so I don't have to compete.

Actually... could I just make that a blanket request? If all you good writers could just kind of not submit for a year or so, I'd really appreciate it.

Actually... could I just make that a blanket request? If all you good writers could just kind of not submit for a year or so, I'd really appreciate it.

I've been making that request for years. So far, it hasn't worked out. =/

Actually... could I just make that a blanket request? If all you good writers could just kind of not submit for a year or so, I'd really appreciate it.

I've been making that request for years. So far, it hasn't worked out. =/

Some people are just so selfish.

Actually... could I just make that a blanket request? If all you good writers could just kind of not submit for a year or so, I'd really appreciate it.

I've been making that request for years. So far, it hasn't worked out. =/

Some people are just so selfish.

Or, better yet, tell all of us to submit using unbearably poor English in our stories so that it causes internal hemorrhaging, so that when the coordinating judge reads yours, he immediately grants it Finalist status in thanks for saving him from our entries

"And now, back to hour story... "Excuse me," some unnamed person said, stretching out his scarred, gnarled, but strangely buteful hand that was wearing one hundred and 2.4 rings on his index finger. Three of which were actually planets. In miniature. And then while he was reaching out his hand, he clasped his fingers around the other person's hand and moved his hand up and down in a handshake. But, all of this was after the fact that I had maked the decision to shake this person's hand, whom I didn't know." The worst part was when I realized that he wasn't in fact another person... it was me! and I had destroyed the world. Three of witch were on my oily, greasy, aromatic finger." let's see... did I leave any of DF's 10 reason's that a story gets quickly rejected out? Oh. And then everything erupted in a fountain of gore.

that was bad. I should apologize. Writing that terribly was cruel of me. Although, reading it, I think I caused myself permanent damage. I'm sorry I won't do it again.

"And now, back to hour story... "Excuse me," some unnamed person said, stretching out his scarred, gnarled, but strangely buteful hand that was wearing one hundred and 2.4 rings on his index finger. Three of which were actually planets. In miniature. And then while he was reaching out his hand, he clasped his fingers around the other person's hand and moved his hand up and down in a handshake. But, all of this was after the fact that I had maked the decision to shake this person's hand, whom I didn't know." The worst part was when I realized that he wasn't in fact another person... it was me! and I had destroyed the world. Three of witch were on my oily, greasy, aromatic finger." let's see... did I leave any of DF's 10 reason's that a story gets quickly rejected out? Oh. And then everything erupted in a fountain of gore.

that was bad. I should apologize. Writing that terribly was cruel of me. Although, reading it, I think I caused myself permanent damage. I'm sorry I won't do it again.
That is a work of sheer, unbridled genius.

Only you forgot the part where the unnamed narrator wakes up and it was all just a dream, and then gets dressed and unnecessarily goes to high school for the next 2500 words.

Stewart C Baker - 1st place, Q2 V32
My contest history: Semi-finalist, R, HM, R, R, HM, HM, R, R, R, R, HM, R, R, R, R, Winner
My published fiction, poetry, &c.

 

"And now, back to hour story... "Excuse me," some unnamed person said, stretching out his scarred, gnarled, but strangely buteful hand that was wearing one hundred and 2.4 rings on his index finger. Three of which were actually planets. In miniature. And then while he was reaching out his hand, he clasped his fingers around the other person's hand and moved his hand up and down in a handshake. But, all of this was after the fact that I had maked the decision to shake this person's hand, whom I didn't know." The worst part was when I realized that he wasn't in fact another person... it was me! and I had destroyed the world. Three of witch were on my oily, greasy, aromatic finger." let's see... did I leave any of DF's 10 reason's that a story gets quickly rejected out? Oh. And then everything erupted in a fountain of gore.

that was bad. I should apologize. Writing that terribly was cruel of me. Although, reading it, I think I caused myself permanent damage. I'm sorry I won't do it again.
That is a work of sheer, unbridled genius.

Only you forgot the part where the unnamed narrator wakes up and it was all just a dream, and then gets dressed and unnecessarily goes to high school for the next 2500 words.

You know... I have to admit that my attempt to amuse myself actually succeeded at the same time it was causing internal hemorrhaging... I found it a little amusing in a painful sort of way. You're certainly right that your suggestion would be the best (or worst, depending on how you look at it) possible continuation of the story... only I don't think I could be cruel enough to inflict that on others. Weaponized literature... huh... proof that the pen is mightier than the sword... or at least more painful.

"If we can hit that bulls-eye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate."
Futurama - Zapp Brannigan

 

And where's the gratuitous sex, hu? Hu? HU?

And where's the gratuitous sex, hu? Hu? HU?

In the cover letter, complete with name and contact info, in the form of a pickup line.

And where's the gratuitous sex, hu? Hu? HU?

In the cover letter, complete with name and contact info, in the form of a pickup line.

Good place for it--get 'em all hot n' bothered up front.

And where's the gratuitous sex, hu? Hu? HU?

very true, but on one of the worlds on the person's finger, there was a whole society procreating, completely oblivious to the fountain of gore which was about to take place

"And now, back to hour story... "Excuse me," some unnamed person said, stretching out his scarred, gnarled, but strangely buteful hand that was wearing one hundred and 2.4 rings on his index finger. Three of which were actually planets. In miniature. And then while he was reaching out his hand, he clasped his fingers around the other person's hand and moved his hand up and down in a handshake. But, all of this was after the fact that I had maked the decision to shake this person's hand, whom I didn't know." The worst part was when I realized that he wasn't in fact another person... it was me! and I had destroyed the world. Three of witch were on my oily, greasy, aromatic finger." let's see... did I leave any of DF's 10 reason's that a story gets quickly rejected out? Oh. And then everything erupted in a fountain of gore.

that was bad. I should apologize. Writing that terribly was cruel of me. Although, reading it, I think I caused myself permanent damage. I'm sorry I won't do it again.
That is a work of sheer, unbridled genius.

Only you forgot the part where the unnamed narrator wakes up and it was all just a dream, and then gets dressed and unnecessarily goes to high school for the next 2500 words.

YYYYEEEESSSS!

Even my stories could win against this sort of entry.

"The Filigreed Cage" || "Bitter Remedy" || "Heartless" || "The Newsboy's Last Stand" || "Planar Ghosts"

 

And where's the gratuitous sex, hu? Hu? HU?

In the cover letter, complete with name and contact info, in the form of a pickup line.

Good place for it--get 'em all hot n' bothered up front.

Especially a great idea for submission to WotF. How come I've never thought to include a gratuitously-sexy cover letter in my electronic submissions?

(I did put one in the print submission, but it was just the regular kind.)

Ah ha! Thank you so much for the explanation. I thought I was having an extreme blond moment.

Or, better yet, tell all of us to submit using unbearably poor English in our stories so that it causes internal hemorrhaging, so that when the coordinating judge reads yours, he immediately grants it Finalist status in thanks for saving him from our entries

"And now, back to hour story... "Excuse me," some unnamed person said, stretching out his scarred, gnarled, but strangely buteful hand that was wearing one hundred and 2.4 rings on his index finger. Three of which were actually planets. In miniature. And then while he was reaching out his hand, he clasped his fingers around the other person's hand and moved his hand up and down in a handshake. But, all of this was after the fact that I had maked the decision to shake this person's hand, whom I didn't know." The worst part was when I realized that he wasn't in fact another person... it was me! and I had destroyed the world. Three of witch were on my oily, greasy, aromatic finger." let's see... did I leave any of DF's 10 reason's that a story gets quickly rejected out? Oh. And then everything erupted in a fountain of gore.

that was bad. I should apologize. Writing that terribly was cruel of me. Although, reading it, I think I caused myself permanent damage. I'm sorry I won't do it again.

Jeanette Gonzalez

HM x4, SHM x2, F x1

 

And where's the gratuitous sex, hu? Hu? HU?

In the cover letter, complete with name and contact info, in the form of a pickup line.

Good place for it--get 'em all hot n' bothered up front.

LMAO

Oh my. I'm laughing so much, I'm crying. *wipes eyes* Thanks guys!

Or, better yet, tell all of us to submit using unbearably poor English in our stories so that it causes internal hemorrhaging, so that when the coordinating judge reads yours, he immediately grants it Finalist status in thanks for saving him from our entries

Oh, God. My secret is out! Just so you all know. I've totally tried this already and now that one person got through, it might be tougher for others to try this strategy.

"And now, back to hour story... "Excuse me," some unnamed person said, stretching out his scarred, gnarled, but strangely buteful hand that was wearing one hundred and 2.4 rings on his index finger. Three of which were actually planets. In miniature. And then while he was reaching out his hand, he clasped his fingers around the other person's hand and moved his hand up and down in a handshake. But, all of this was after the fact that I had maked the decision to shake this person's hand, whom I didn't know." The worst part was when I realized that he wasn't in fact another person... it was me! and I had destroyed the world. Three of witch were on my oily, greasy, aromatic finger." let's see... did I leave any of DF's 10 reason's that a story gets quickly rejected out? Oh. And then everything erupted in a fountain of gore.

OMG, please please stop submitting so the rest of us might have a chance!

Wow you are all making me laugh so hard! Suddenly I feel the urge to submit this lyrical song I wrote:

And now back to the story,
All of a sudden it got gory.
I reached out and shook the decapitated hand,
Until I realized it was all part of the unnamed man's hand's plan.
Instantly I was sucked into a vortex,
Into the land of dragons, fairies, elves, vampires, werewolves, witches, ghosts and sex.
And as I raced through the tomb, after going blind,
I woke up from this dream- it was all in my mind.

Oh yeah, that gold award is so close, I can almost taste it.

Laugh all you want, but the ring that's actually a planet is a pretty awesome idea.

Wow you are all making me laugh so hard! Suddenly I feel the urge to submit this lyrical song I wrote:

And now back to the story,
All of a sudden it got gory.
I reached out and shook the decapitated hand,
Until I realized it was all part of the unnamed man's hand's plan.
Instantly I was sucked into a vortex,
Into the land of dragons, fairies, elves, vampires, werewolves, witches, ghosts and sex.
And as I raced through the tomb, after going blind,
I woke up from this dream- it was all in my mind.

Oh yeah, that gold award is so close, I can almost taste it.

ITT: untrammeled genius.

Laugh all you want, but the ring that's actually a planet is a pretty awesome idea.

Isn't it kind of a trope? Maybe I'm thinking AD&D or something.

Laugh all you want, but the ring that's actually a planet is a pretty awesome idea.

Isn't it kind of a trope? Maybe I'm thinking AD&D or something.

AD&D has the stones that orbit the head. I haven't seen the ring concept. To me it seems more awesome, more cosmic even. In fact the idea hasn't quite left me since I read it.

Into the land of dragons, fairies, elves, vampires, werewolves, witches, ghosts and sex.

Laugh all you want, but the ring that's actually a planet is a pretty awesome idea.

Isn't it kind of a trope? Maybe I'm thinking AD&D or something.

AD&D has the stones that orbit the head. I haven't seen the ring concept. To me it seems more awesome, more cosmic even. In fact the idea hasn't quite left me since I read it.

It made me think of the first Men in Black movie (where entire galaxies existed on cat collars and in marble bags.)

Laugh all you want, but the ring that's actually a planet is a pretty awesome idea.

Isn't it kind of a trope? Maybe I'm thinking AD&D or something.

AD&D has the stones that orbit the head. I haven't seen the ring concept. To me it seems more awesome, more cosmic even. In fact the idea hasn't quite left me since I read it.

There is also "the galaxy on Orion's belt" from MIB, but in any case, being able to wear an entire planet is an awesome concept. The idea of shrinking something massive down to everyday proportions simply makes that planet/universe/whatever even more wondrous.

It made me think of the first Men in Black movie (where entire galaxies existed on cat collars and in marble bags.)

jinx

It made me think of the first Men in Black movie (where entire galaxies existed on cat collars and in marble bags.)

jinx

Me too. I liked the planet ring idea when I read it. Also made me think of Men in Black