Wulf Moon's SUPER SECRETS Workshop & Challenge!

@scribblesatdusk I’m sorry to hear you are ill, Yelena, and COVID is not to be taken lightly. Take all the time you need to recover. Our very best wishes that you have a full and speedy recovery! 

Sorry so late with my assignment. I was a victim of the jif peanut butter recall and have been severely struck down. Still need to do a kyd and 3,000 or so word story for May. Yikes. Really could have used those 7 days stolen by my love of peanut butter, 🙁

1. What was Sophie created to do, and how many ways has that been hindered in the opening of the story?

Sophie was created to serve humans. Obstacles include: Less human beings to take care of sentient buildings. Hostile consumer and blitzers. Relies on Solar cells. Patched communications. Utilities obliterated. Reliant on grid.

2. What is Sophie’s heart’s desire? 

To be protected from hostile consumers and blitzers. To not lose any more sentients.

3. What is Sophie’s greatest fear?

              To be left all alone without any other sentients

3. How close is Sophie to the realization of that fear at the start of the story?

Right away, hostile consumer threatens her heart’s desire. She has few sentient friends left.

4. How do I bring her even closer to that fear and increase her vulnerability in the very first scene?

Indicating how long it has been since she could serve her primary function. The need to protect her friends by slowing down the hostile consumer. And she loses Ripley… and it’s her fault because he was executing Sophie’s plan.

5. As Sophie loses a friend—Ripley’s Believe it or Not—what is your emotional response as a reader?

Sad. Fearful. Worried. Loss.

6. What moves you to read on into the next scene?

To see how Sophie deals with her loss and deal with her problem.

7. To increase Sophie’s fears and vulnerability, what do I have happen to her next closest friend, TCL Chinese Theater?

It activates a Humphrey Bogart hologram followed by others to distract the vagrant from targeting Sophie resulting in TCL Chinese Theater making the ultimate sacrifice to go dark in order to protect Sophie.

8. Why do I spare Tussaud's Wax Museum? 

It is ironic. Increases tension. Makes us more sympathetic to Sophie.

9. How do I make Sophie even more vulnerable through the attack by the vagrant?

She finds out the vagrant is out for revenge. Machines killed his family. As she pleads with him, she loses her ability to speak. She is facing her worst fear.

10. What statements do I include in the narrative to show how desperate and vulnerable Sophie is in the crucible of her trials? How do we know through this she has entered “the dark night”?

We know her worst fear is coming true. She despairs. TCL Chinese Theater pulls out all the stops to distract the vagrant using Dirty Harry, Darth Vader, etc.  She is left with optics and communications and blamed for TCL Chinese Theater’s demise. Sophie cuts the lines because she has no allies left, only betrayers. She loses heart and hope. Dog pees on her. She can smell the urine. She no longer cares about anything. She is left with no purpose.

11. How do you feel when Sophie, in her most vulnerable state, risks everything she fears in order to obtain her heart’s desire?

Sophie releases a card with the word please written on it for dog to take the vagrant. She sends a second scented card with word lonely. Vagrant indicates he is lonely, too, and she lets him in. Vagrant accepts a lemonade and now both are no longer lonely.

12. In conclusion, how did I use vulnerability to make you care about a building? How can you utilize this Super Secret in your next story to grab your readers’ hearts?

Time will tell. I’ll need to let this percolate a bit more. Thanks for sharing your story. Nice to hear you read it aloud.

@scribblesatdusk I am so sorry to hear. I hope you can find comfort and healing through this.

@physa Oh, no! I had several jars of Jif with that code, Amy. Fortunately, I saw the news and caught it in time. I’m sorry you did not, but I’m glad you’re feeling better now.

When any of you have a major illness like Amy or Yelena are experiencing, don’t sweat the requirements. Let me know, and do what you can when you’re feeling better. They are meant to motivate you, not to drag you down.

Good health to both of you!

Moon

@scribblesatdusk 

That sucks, Yelena. Doesn't sound fun. 
I wish you a speedy recovery.

1. What was Sophie created to do, and how many ways has that been hindered in the opening of the story?

To serve customers, but in this post apocalyptic setting there aren't really any customers left. The only one left is bitter toward these automated buildings.

2. What is Sophie’s heart’s desire?

To serve customers again.

3. What is Sophie’s greatest fear?

Isolation.

4. How close is Sophie to the realization of that fear at the start of the story?

There are very few sentient buildings left, and there's a guy destroying them.

5. How do I bring her even closer to that fear and increase her vulnerability in the very first scene?

She loses someone precious to her.

6. As Sophie loses a friend—Ripley’s Believe it or Not—what is your emotional response as a reader?

I feel sorry for her. Loss of a friend is a heavy thing. Also she is a step closer to her fear.

7. What moves you to read on into the next scene?

Concern for her and the rest of her friends. I imagine this guy will likely keep destroying them, getting her closer to her fear.

8. To increase Sophie’s fears and vulnerability, what do I have happen to her next closest friend, TCL Chinese Theater?

He sacrifices himself to save her.

9. Why do I spare Tussaud's Wax Museum?

Because she serves as an additional adversary. Robin Williams said it best "Having people that make you feel alone is worse to being alone."

10. How do I make Sophie even more vulnerable through the attack by the vagrant?

He destroys her speakers. She is not only alone, she is mute. Unable to communicate with the outside world.

11. What statements do I include in the narrative to show how desperate and vulnerable Sophie is in the crucible of her trials? How do we know through this she has entered “the dark night”?

She’s mixing rotten smells and prints distorted wedding messages. She considers shutting herself down. But she does not.

12. How do you feel when Sophie, in her most vulnerable state, risks everything she fears in order to obtain her heart’s desire?

She lets him inside, leaves herself bare to him exposed on a level only a building could be exposed. This sparks fear in us. You never tell the reader be afraid of him. It’s the fact that Sophie is polite and accepting, exuding warm feelings towards this guy that had killed her family that forces us to evaluate and contrast our own feelings against hers—Watch out!

13. In conclusion, how did I use vulnerability to make you care about a building? How can you utilize this Super Secret in your next story to grab your readers’ hearts?

It's wired in us to feel for the downtrodden. It's why the "orphaned" MC is so popular. By making her vulnerable you make us care to protect her. There are many ways to utilize this secret and make an MC vulnerable, and it adds points toward Reader/Hero Bond. Ways I have done so is: give a handicap, make them the target of racism/segregation, have them be a powerless child whose enemy is an adult etc etc

1. What was Sophie created to do, and how many ways has that been hindered in the opening of the story? She is designed to serve customers by providing scents and stationary, but there are no more customers. Her functions become limited as some repairs require human intervention, so she's at the mercy of the power supplied by her solar cells and the minor repairs she can make to maintain her functionality.

2. What is Sophie’s heart’s desire? To serve customers.

3. What is Sophie’s greatest fear? To be disconnected from the network, to be isolated and alone.

4. How close is Sophie to the realization of that fear at the start of the story? Quite close. There is the threat of the mad vagrant, and they are uncertain what he'll do. She's already lost one of her three remaining friends in the opening, making the threat to her more real.

5. How do I bring her even closer to that fear and increase her vulnerability in the very first scene? The loss of Ripley is even more painful because it's the result of her plan.

6. As Sophie loses a friend—Ripley’s Believe it or Not—what is your emotional response as a reader? He suffers her ultimate fear. We feel sorry for him and worried for her fate.

7. What moves you to read on into the next scene? We need to see if Sophie and her other friends will meet the same fate beacuse we care about her. Can she outsmart the vagrant while still following her programming rules?

8. To increase Sophie’s fears and vulnerability, what do I have happen to her next closest friend, TCL Chinese Theater? He gets shut down too when he comes to her rescue. So again, she feels responsible. Loss and guilt.

9. Why do I spare Tussaud's Wax Museum? We have less empathy for Tussaud since they are self isolating and seem to be siding with the Blitzers. The goal of disconnection is fulfilled by the self. Sophie isn't responsible for the disconnection but feels loss none the less.

10. How do I make Sophie even more vulnerable through the attack by the vagrant? We see parts of her getting taken out one by one, the drone, the outside speakers. She's now disconnected from the outer world.

11. What statements do I include in the narrative to show how desperate and vulnerable Sophie is in the crucible of her trials? How do we know through this she has entered “the dark night”? Despite her fear of isolation, she wishes she didn't have her optics so she couldn't see TCL Chinese get attacked or see Tussaud berate her. Then she makes concoctions that smell of rotting liver and prints black stationary and even considers suicide.

12. How do you feel when Sophie, in her most vulnerable state, risks everything she fears in order to obtain her heart’s desire? At that point, she has everything and nothing to lose. I worried for her taking further risk with the vagrant. Will this hasten her demise? Her action is a hail mary. She already thinks she's lost as he takes out each of her friends then parts of her. Her fate seems inevitable. Unless she can reach him. Somehow.

13. In conclusion, how did I use vulnerability to make you care about a building? How can you utilize this Super Secret in your next story to grab your readers’ hearts? Putting the characters in jeopardy makes us instantly worry about them, even if they are buildings. We relate to the feelings Sophie has; we know isolation, loneliness, hopelessness, feeling without purpose. Making her kind in the opening also helped build a connection with the reader (aka Save the Cat). She welcomes Ripley's ramblings even when they aren't relevant. So when we see her threatened, we fear for her and hope for the best each step of the way.

My thoughts on Sophie's Parisian Stationery & Parfumerie Magnifique:

1. What was Sophie created to do, and how many ways has that been hindered in the opening of the story?

She was created to serve customers. There was some kind of war/event in the past that limited her connectivity and power. She has become isolated to all but a few select members of her kind. There are currently no customers.

2. What is Sophie’s heart’s desire? 

Company, friends.

3. What is Sophie’s greatest fear?

I don't know, but I really hope there's somebody out there to read this.

4. How close is Sophie to the realization of that fear at the start of the story?

Fairly close. Again, she's only able to connect with a few and there's a madman on the loose threatening to silence more of her friends.

5. How do I bring her even closer to that fear and increase her vulnerability in the very first scene?

Her friend, Ripley, is killed/lost.

6. As Sophie loses a friend—Ripley’s Believe it or Not—what is your emotional response as a reader?

I empathise with Sophie.

7. What moves you to read on into the next scene?

I'm wondering what will happen to the rest of the sentient building crew, particularly Sophie.

8. To increase Sophie’s fears and vulnerability, what do I have happen to her next closest friend, TCL Chinese Theater?

He tries to help her (there's some back and forth between TCL and Tussaud as they debate how/if Sophie should be helped). TCL is also killed/lost.

9. Why do I spare Tussaud's Wax Museum?

He (lol) is the voice to demonstrate how greatly Sophie has failed. 

10. How do I make Sophie even more vulnerable through the attack by the vagrant?

The vagrant destroys her speakers, adding to her sense of isolation (greatest fear). He also wipes out ol' Donald, which I found very unnerving. Yes, the Donald figure was in close proximity to Sophie, which added to her stakes, but Donald himself, bless him, represents an innocence and purity. Destroying that cuts deep and I feel that witnessing this adds to Sophie's vulnerability.

11. What statements do I include in the narrative to show how desperate and vulnerable Sophie is in the crucible of her trials? How do we know through this she has entered “the dark night”?

Definitely the time frame from Ripley's tragedy. That hit it home. I believe you also directly mention her worst fear.

12. How do you feel when Sophie, in her most vulnerable state, risks everything she fears in order to obtain her heart’s desire?

I'm not sure how it's going to end. I hope (and assume please, Mr Moon) that it will end in some positive way.

13. In conclusion, how did I use vulnerability to make you care about a building? How can you utilize this Super Secret in your next story to grab your readers’ hearts?

You showed us the things that majestically perfumed building cared about and hurt them, to the point where almost everything was lost. When the things she cared about fell, we sympathised. Now for us 'Go and do likewise.'

Will be flying tomorrow so I'll put in my May report today:

1. Wrote about 3300 words (a 100 drabble, 1500 words for the DreamCaster challenge, about 1700 words on two separate incomplete stories.)

2. 1xKYD (Where does he get those wonderful toys prompt)

3. Submitted to about 10 markets

4. Chose and edited my WoTF entry

I trimmed some pieces from previous months, too.

Checking in for May. 

1. Wrote a 5600-word story.

2. Wrote a KYD 

3. Submitted two stories out 

4. Finished a rough draft for my WOTF Q3 entry and will begin editing and prepping for submission. 

Year 4 May check in

1. Wrote 1 novel chapter and 1 short story

2. Wrote 1 KYD 

3. Submitted to 5 pro markets so far this quarter

4. Still drafting my Q3 WotF story and on track to submit

Thanks for checking in on your reqs, Challenge Beasties! Nice work! Two of you have a reprieve due to serious illness, and we hope your recovery is swift! 

I’ve been impressed by your answers on how I utilized the Super Secret, Vulnerability, in my WotF 24-hour workshop story, “Sophie’s Parisian Stationery and Parfumerie Magnifique.” I will be responding to all, but it was interesting to see how few mentioned Sophie’s avatar drone being destroyed—a direct representation of her inner self to consumers—and instead focused on her being made mute by the destruction of her external speakers. There must be a psychological reason for this, as this was the thing that resonated across the board. Perhaps some of you would like to comment as to why this was the case. 

For those dear onlurkers that have been wondering what this is all about, it’s part of a workshop exercise on the power of creating vulnerable protagonists, and then putting them behind the eight ball at the start of our stories. Instant Reader/Hero bond, instant tension!

Would you like to see this Secret in action? Read or listen to my WotF 24-hour story, and take the quiz yourself. May it help you in creating a powerful story for Q3! 

All the beast! 

Wulf Moon

Here’s the anthology it appears in:Things With Feathers

Or, you can listen for free in the podcast I narrated for Third Flatiron.Click Here!

It’s MONDAY, Challenge Beasties, and that means I give you a writing prompt! How about a little romance, Godfather style? 

Kiss of Death.

Were you having trouble coming up with something to write about? Now you can fogedaboudit! But don’t forget about crafting a killer Q3. You only have one month left!

Beastmaster Moon

May check in:

I wrote two KYDs, one on 'Excuse me sir, would you be interested in___' and one on 'Everything is fine, you have nothing to worry about.' Both were a lot of fun.

Wrote 1 3/4 stories. The first finished at 5K, the other is sitting at 8K and growing. Will need some serious editing on that one but I love the world I've built. With KYDs, stories, and editing, I've written about 20K words this month.

Submitted to three markets and one contest (not WotF).

One of these two I wrote this month will be my Q3. I'm leaning toward the longer one, but will have to see once I've edited.

I got 2 kyds done trying to figure out one story. I don't recall the first prompt, but I think where does he get those toys worked in a perverse way. LOL the story is a hairy 5k right now. Submitted to a new market for me, so we'll see how that goes. Here comes June!

May check in.

I sent out 2 more short stories for consideration of publication in pro markets, including my RWC Q1 story. That brings my Q3 of Vol 39 year 4 challenge total up to 4.

I managed to write 3,000 new words including the bare bones of a KYD. I still need to come up with a Q3 story, but I have the month of June.

May Check in:

x1 fresh 5500w story (that will probably be my WOTF Q3 entry)

x2 KYD's on prompts 'We rebuild what you break' and one for another publication

Yet to sub to WOTF for Q3, but will do so in June

21 stories submitted to respectable markets.

A positive month. Aiming to get more done on my novel in June, though.   

Okay, I think that's everyone checking in for the month of May. Well done! You Challenge Beasties are truly productive! And I've seen many honors and sales last month in respectable publications! Off the top of my head (always dangerous) I recall Jarrod achieved his first Silver HM (so close!), Scribbles was published in Nature, and Lost Bard--our Keeper of Records--was published in a prozine as well! Special kudos to these members of the workshop!!!

Less than a month to go to craft your magnificent knock-Jody's-socks-off Q3! RELEASE YOUR INNNER KRAKEN! It's time to focus 100% on crafting your winning entry. You know what to do--I've provided all the tools to help! GO FOR IT! 

Beastmaster Moon

Okay now that I'm recovering I tried to tackle this: 

Happy writing Monday, Challenge Beasties!

Your KYD prompt is:

A long shot pays off.

Knock this one out of the park! About three weeks to finish your Q3s. It’s worth every effort to win, and it takes every effort *to* win. You’ll get an important Super Secret from me on Set. Your. Stage. in DreamForge around June 15th. I encourage you to study it and make application before sending your stories in. There are many moving parts to this technique; mastering them is what creates professional stories that have the best shot at the win.

Speaking of DreamForge, their Kickstarter only has a week to go! They’re just a few hundred short of reaching their push goal of paying writers $0.07 a word *permanently*! That’s a respectable sale, and you get a custom illustration with every story. Help us keep their forge burning bright! To do so, I’ve donated a webinar on “Flow State: Realease the Kraken Within You!” The late David Farland kindly joined me when I taught this at Fyrecon last year. He said in all his years, at all the conventions he had been to, he had never seen this topic covered, and yet it’s so important. Dave was truly impressed by this material, which made my year. Still does.

Come learn these Secrets that are vital for writers in order to achieve their ultimate writing power! You’ll also be supporting a great cause—paying writers like you more for their work! See you there!

Here’s the LINK.

Beastmaster Moon.

Posted by: @wulfmoon

Knock this one out of the park! About three weeks to finish your Q3s. It’s worth every effort to win, and it takes every effort *to* win. You’ll get an important Super Secret from me on Set. Your. Stage. in DreamForge around June 15th. I encourage you to study it and make application before sending your stories in. There are many moving parts to this technique; mastering them is what creates professional stories that have the best shot at the win.

Will be looking for your latest how to write article June 15. A perfect time for checking over a Q3 entry. I'm slowly getting back into the swing of writing after my peanut butter illness and have a Q3 story in mind. Just need to write it. I shall try to have a draft done by the fifteenth... makes for a good goal.

Posted by: @lost_bard

9. Why do I spare Tussaud's Wax Museum?

A: To show that isolation doesn't just come from people being taken from us. Even those closest to us can turn their backs through anger, resentment, or other reasons. Losing a friend through their choice is can be even more painful than having someone taken away. In the end, the end result is the same. Sophie is isolated.

I have a moment, and so we progress on your answers to the Super Secret of Vulnerability. Lost Bard is next:

Your answer to question nine was most insightful, David. I kept Madam Taussaud’s alive for the very reasons you said. When writing, as you progress in your try/fail cycles, the question you should constantly be asking is: “How can I make this worse?” And the next question should be: “Okay, that’s the first thing I came up with. I can do better. What’s even worse than that?”

Leaving the Wax Museum alive allows additional pain to be dumped on Sophie as she stands at the brink of her ultimate fear—complete isolation. She has one friend left, but that friend has turned on her, and throws so much salt on the wound, Sophie can’t be friends with her last surviving friend that she so desperately needs. It shows there are even worse things than losing a friend to death. And that is what you must do to take your stories to deeper levels. “Things get worse” should be your mantra. Dean and Kris, now Contest judges (Dean’s now editor of the anthology), taught that to me. Now, I teach it to you.

As for your take on the ending, David, it just shows we all bring our own experience and conclusions to the table. Totally valid. However, I can assure you validating an abuse victim seeking twisted comfort from her abuser was absolutely not the message I crafted for the ending. Just so you know, I am an abuse survivor, had to run away from home to save my life, and was placed in a foster home. My wife suffered from an abuser as well, and she loved the ending, and trust me, I would have heard a resounding “Oh, hell no” if she had thought the story even came close to that message. Just saying. ?

The message I was going for is that the vagrant did have legit reasons to be furious at AI machines—others had murdered his family. Sophie had her reasons to be furious with him—he destroyed her network of friends and brought her to the place of her greatest fear—complete isolation. But unlike the vagrant, she did not allow her pain to consume her. And she recognized that if the scenario was going to change, they needed to get past their individual pain and reach out to one another. In the end, she conquered through forgiveness and kindness, and the vagrant rose above prejudice and hate to recognize Sophie as a good person. In fact, it was my hope their relationship would build into friendship, and she’d talk the vagrant into restoring her friends once again.

That’s the ending I saw, and endeavored to code. I’m certain the editor saw a similar message, or she wouldn’t have bought the story for an anthology that included “Stories of Hope” in the title. Doesn’t invalidate what you perceived, however. That’s the fascinating thing about storytelling—it doesn’t occur on the page. It happens in the reader’s mind.

Great answers. It’s obvious you understand the lesson on creating vulnerable characters, and I’m very proud of your writing success since joining this workshop. Congratulations on becoming a respectably published author! That’s our goal here, writing professional-level stories that sell, whether we win Writers of the Future or not.

Go forth and conquer!

Beastmaster Moon

Posted by: @empressed

13. In conclusion, how did I use vulnerability to make you care about a building? How can you utilize this Super Secret in your next story to grab your readers’ hearts? The word "Lonely" is powerful enough to inspire tears. You rang the bell of her fears and the time frame in which she contemplates isolation and then endures isolation keeps growing. With pun intended, you build her a framework of isolation and make her sit in it.

 

Empressed is up next on our “Super Secret: Vulnerability” assignment, based on how I crafted my 24-hour story at the WotF Workshop. Thoughtful answers, and I especially enjoyed your answer to the theme of the story. It’s rare that I think of a theme before writing a story—the story usually wraps itself around a pillar as I write it. But in this case, I did choose to craft a story about loneliness. Why? Dave had talked about it many times in his tips that companionship is a powerful need of people, and loneliness is both a major problem and a universal fear. I hadn’t thought about that since high school, where I felt it keenly living in a foster home. With finding my soulmate and being active in my businesses and volunteer efforts, it had become a rather alien subject to me I wanted to explore. If Dave said it’s a critical issue for people, then that was good enough for me. I needed to explore the problem in a story, and used the WotF Workshop to do so.

You used the term “rang the bell.” This is a term I use in my master workshops, and I know you’ve attended, so I’m guessing that you’re echoing the concept I teach. If you want something to stand out in a story, you have to keep “ringing the bell.” It’s not enough to state something once and hope readers will pick up on it. If it’s important to the story, we should find creative ways to keep ringing the bell so the message we’re trying to transmit amplifies. Ringing the bell on events that take Sophie’s friends from her amplifies her greatest fear—living in complete isolation. Each event, including losing her own drone that casts her avatar, and then losing her external speakers, creates emotional resonance that builds within the reader’s mind, hopefully plucking their heart strings if I do my job right.

Whether you choose a theme or not, a story does have a theme. You choose it the moment you state the protagonist’s heart’s desire in the opening. The rest of the story must focus on that heart’s desire like a bullseye. It’s what powerful stories are all about. 

Love your “pun intended” conclusion above. Bullseye!

Go forth and conquer … by ringing the bell in your Q3! You’ve hit finalist before, so you can do it again! You have all the tools to create your winner. ?

Beastmaster Moon

Posted by: @cpapa

12. How do you feel when Sophie, in her most vulnerable state, risks everything she fears in order to obtain her heart’s desire? Her sending the cards with words on them broke me. The Please and Lonely showed just how desperate she was as she reached out to the man who ended it for her friends

13. In conclusion, how did I use vulnerability to make you care about a building? How can you utilize this Super Secret in your next story to grab your readers’ hearts? You used vulnerability to connect us to a sentient machine. We felt for Sophie, rooted for her, and felt her anguish because we've cared about our own friends before, and we tend to have our own fears and discomfort about being lonely. Honestly, the way you made Sophie feel more human than we are through vulnerability was genius. For my own story, I can use vulnerability to deepen the emotions of loss my current story is dealing with. I need to make the character feel more vulnerable from the very beginning, not just when the antagonist shows up to shorten the timeline.

You had a lot of great comments that show you understand the principle of Vulnerability, but I liked the two above best. I had to work with index cards, because Tim Powers pulled a plain white index card as my prompt. I recall saying to someone, "Great, what am I supposed to do with this?" And they said, "That's the great thing. You can write anything you want on it." Wheels began spinning, and I thought the cards would be a great way to amplify (ring the bell) on my theme of loneliness. One word pleas can be most powerful. Plus, they are like singular perfect strikes on a bell, creating a pure tone that can resonate within you. Please is powerful, because it's a plea for help that can evoke sympathy and even empathy that might move the receiver to action. And Lonely, as one word on the card, says it all. You feel her desperate reach for the humanity within a man that has shown her no human kindness. Those cards funnel the entire story down to two very powerful words. I'm sorry I broke you with them, but only a little, cpapa. That's a writer's job, to stir deep feelings within the reader. Powerful stories make you feel. Stories that make you feel are remembered. They also cause stories to rise to the top in contests like Writers of the Future. As the saying goes, She who makes the judges cry, wins.

Your answer to question thirteen shows that you grasp the power of this Secret, and have discerned how you can use it from the very beginning to create empathy and tension that will cause your reader to become emotionally attached to your protagonist. I've given you a vial of Felix Felicis-- Liquid Luck--that you can use in creating your Q3. As Professor Slughorn said, use it wisely.

Beastmaster Moon

Happy writing, Challenge Beasties! Your Monday prompt is:

Counterfeit words from a bankrupt heart.

May the prompt light the fire of your writing forge!

All the beast!

Beastmaster Moon

Last call to join us! Final day of the Kickstarter, and I’ve donated this workshop to help. If you’ve been sitting on the fence…JUMP! ? Click the link for pledge details. Release your kraken and go with the flow!!! And support DreamForge’s final push goal—dedicating more space and pay to publish new writers! DreamForge is worthy. ?

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/scotnoel/dreamforge-magazine-in-2022

I thought I had reported but I can't find it. So here's a very late report.

May I wrote 2 KYDS, 1 short story, and submitted a flash fiction. I also did a round of betas on my WotF piece and am now working on its revision. It's weird to be so far ahead on this for once.

@wulfmoon Thank you for going over these. It's been enlightening to see your comments on our different responses. And your encouragement means everything!

Posted by: @cpapa

@wulfmoon Thank you for going over these. It's been enlightening to see your comments on our different responses. And your encouragement means everything!

You're welcome, cpapa. Glad to help. As for reading the comments of others, it can help seeing the same subject through different lenses. There are words just right for us that can pull the switch and make the lightbulb go off. May this Super Secret help you craft stronger stories with deep reader/hero bonds. 

Speaking of crafting stronger stories, Q3 is almost over! How are your submissions shaping up, Challenge Beasties? Don't miss the deadline. Only two more weeks to go!

Beastmaster Moon

Posted by: @physa

3. What is Sophie’s greatest fear?

              To be left all alone without any other sentients

3. How close is Sophie to the realization of that fear at the start of the story?

Right away, hostile consumer threatens her heart’s desire. She has few sentient friends left.

We come to physa/Amy's answers to the assignment on the Super Secret of Vulnerability. First, in view of your Jif peanut butter poisoning, Amy, let me certify that this commentary was manufactured in a facility that does not process nuts of any kind. It is only run by one.

I thought your answers on questions three and four hit the nail on the head. Loneliness was the theme of this story, and Sophie's greatest fear was to be left alone without any other sentients to communicate with. Complete isolation was her greatest fear, and you nailed it.

In question four, you recognized how close Sophie was to that fear from the moment the story opened. Her circle of friends had been severely diminished, and a hostile consumer approaches to jeopardize her heart's desire even further. Starting your story with your protagonist already behind the eight ball not only increases vulnerability, it escalates tension. They've lost so much, they can't afford to lose any more. And yet, to escalate tension and to put them through the crucible of trial by fire, that is where you must take them, toward their greatest fear. Each loss now costs the hero dearly, and when we do our job right, the reader will feel the hero's pain. Friend by friend, piece by piece, you take them apart and expose them as naked and seemingly defenseless against the beast they hoped they would never have to face--in Sophie's case, complete isolation. 

Your answer to question ten is also strong:

10. What statements do I include in the narrative to show how desperate and vulnerable Sophie is in the crucible of her trials? How do we know through this she has entered “the dark night”?

We know her worst fear is coming true. She despairs. TCL Chinese Theater pulls out all the stops to distract the vagrant using Dirty Harry, Darth Vader, etc.  She is left with optics and communications and blamed for TCL Chinese Theater’s demise. Sophie cuts the lines because she has no allies left, only betrayers. She loses heart and hope. Dog pees on her. She can smell the urine. She no longer cares about anything. She is left with no purpose.

You got it! She not only has lost all her friends, but the one she has left has turned to ridiculing and blaming her for their predicament. Sophie has no choice but to cut ties to the one entity that could have kept her loneliness at bay. You commented on many of the bells I tolled to let the reader know the "Dark Night" was upon her. I think you were the only one to comment on the dog peeing on her. With her olfactory senses and her ability to create special perfumes for lady consumers, you can see how demeaning that act would have been. Good catch!

Thank you for your thoughtful answers, and I wish you success in applying the lesson in some of your own works. Finally, congratulations on your HM in the Illustrators of the Future Contest. Well done!

Cheers!

Beastmaster Moon