For thriller writers and other villains - On Con Artists, Grooming and Flying Monkeys

And here's a bit on love bombing, which is often one of the first stages of grooming, and can happen in any situation where the villain wants power over people. They're charming and flattering, oh, I'm so happy you're here, my but you look wonderful, you're so insightful, ah, here, let me help you with that, you want to put your best foot forward, right?

There's a pattern - idealize, devalue, discard. First the victim is wooed and courted. Promises are made, secrets shared. If the victim doesn't toe the party line, or isn't effusive enough in their gratitude or praise of the villain, then the villain will begin to devalue the victim. The warmth and praise is removed, and sometimes that's all it takes. Eventually, the victim is discarded in favor of a new mark.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_bombing

These are really useful resources, Kary, thank you! I've been using some of these things in my novel villain, so good to know I'm on the mark I've also heard some of these terms and actions associated with narcissism (via a forum I no longer frequent, it went a bit down the toilet). You can get some really wild things out of that for writing villains. The love-bombing stage, like Kary said, can be especially effective (from any type of villain, not just a narcissistic one!) in that it makes characters have really conflicting feelings about the villain. They want to be loved, respected, approved of by the villain, and when the villain gives them even a tiny bit of that, it's a heck of a drug. But they're the villain! So those kinds of emotions can be pretty wild when your characters are dealing with the villain, potentially more interesting than the characters just outright hating the villain. Because then, when they have to defeat the villain? Woo! Fun internal conflicts are gonna happen.

Anyway, narcissism! I think this one would probably be difficult to pull off in a written villain, because the personality aspects can be so extreme - sensitive to perceived slights, exaggerated sense of self-importance, requirement of constant and excessive admiration, and yet with secret feelings of shame and inadequacy. IMO, when writing a character with this, there would be a balance to strike in order to make sure the character doesn't come off tropey or one dimensional. They should have a personality as well as these narcissistic traits (would be easy to make this come out in the love-bombing stages!). But narcissists are definitely groomers of the people around them. A link to start the research, if anyone's interested: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662 Oh, and incidentally, how do you foil a narcissist (besides throwing the evil narcissistic wizard into a volcano)? Ignore em. Ever hear the phrase "don't feed the troll"? Well, you have now! In this, the internet is wise.

Additionally, I think the villain could always be enhanced by making them sympathetic. That doesn't mean they have to have a tragic backstory that makes their abusive actions understandable, though that's something you can do. Just give them a bit of logic. Give them some complexity, let them do something good, like, oh, I don't know, save a cat. 😉

Anyway, Kary, cool topic! Thanks for starting this up!

I’m rewriting a story from the ground up and one of the things missing on my original was depth to my villain (a slave catcher). I can definitely see some ways to incorporate these grooming behaviors into his personality. This guy just got a nicely creepy twist.
Now, how to add in a flying monkey…